Ah, today, I REALLY hate that saying! Even more after reading an article today that excused rape (and murder!) as a mistake that boys will make, because 'boys will be boys.'
I have those 'boys will be boys' kids. I hear it all the time. I hear it regarding their messy hair and how they can antagonize their sister (and each other). I hear it about how much they just love running around, both clothed and naked, and about how they will eat us out of house and home. Everytime I hear it, I kind of cringe inside. I think from now on, I will REALLY cringe inside. Having various, insignificant definitions of what makes a boy (and often are used in a negative way) is kind of demeaning in itself. What child should be defined (by gender, in this case) for being a normal, active child?
Just a sidenote: Since people are always telling me that my boys are so busy, and that I must just always be chasing them, etc.... does that make it ok for me to tell people that their less active children are just bumps on a log?? lol... anyways, maybe I'm too tired to be writing this....
I believe in childhood, free of gender roles. Children will naturally gravitate towards what they love and what defines them. I am all for allowing children to run free and enjoy their childhood. Both of my sons have played with dolls and dishes, AND LOVE IT. By gender definition, technically, isn't that a huge no-no?? Like seriously, boys will be boys.... I have never met a boy who dislikes food (other than when going through a picky phase).. and playing with 'baby dolls' is normal to most children. They are simply mimicking their parents' behaviour with them. Which is awesome.... and telling of how good of a job the parents are doing. I surely would be missing some tender moments with my littles if they were stuck only to traditional 'boys will be boys' play.
My husband and I decided early on with our daughter that, when it comes to allowing her to enjoy a REAL childhood, we would pick our battles carefully. She, and our sons, are encouraged to get in the dirt and find bugs (although our daughter is 'scared' of them currently. They are encouraged to run around the backyard shoeless and jump carefree into our little wading pool. They are encouraged to go digging in the pots and pans and make musical instruments out of them and bang to their hearts content. Within reason and safely, they are able to PLAY however they want.... HOWEVER, whichever way they choose to play, they will do so respecting each other and whoever else is around.
Respect, whether for opposite gender, age, sexual orientation or race, is not a matter of allowing a child to be 'a boy'.. Not teaching a child the respect that is needed to live a good and wholesome life, without prejudice, is what actually robs children in the long run. Without giving our children the tools they need to succeed in life, we fail as parents, as well.
I sincerely wish that my children could never even fathom how such atrocities can be committed towards other human being. We are certainly raising them to show love, honour and respect to others, as that is the best foundation for their relationships that they can build.
I love my kids more than I can ever describe... that said, God help me if I ever sweep something so heinous under the rug and shrug it off saying 'boys will be boys.'
Thursday, 29 May 2014
Thursday, 22 May 2014
Baby Girl is Growing So Fast!
I've noticed a lot about my threenager lately and how she is a little girl lately and not a baby... ok, she'll always be my baby, but she is getting so big!
She completely caught me by surprise the other day. Over the last few weeks, she has been helping me out a lot and with a smile on her face. It's wonderful and high praise is given, which just makes her smile even bigger!
I decided to hang a carrot this week, because we just have an overload of toys. I offered to buy her ONE toy if she helped me to clean up and sort through our toys, putting away the baby toys and sorting out what no one uses. She thought this was a great idea....
So we get to work.. she is doing amazing sorting out baby toys, blocks and potato head limbs.... and then she says it... "So now I'll be able to get a Prince Barbie!" ... WHAT???!??? When did this happen?????? I thought she'd want to get a new ball or a teapot or a teddy bear? When did this transition from simple (and cheap) toys turn into a gender specific type of doll... and a princely one at that!
Of course, we will be going shopping for the latest Prince soon, as she did keep her end of the bargain. I guess she has to grow up... and keep things in perspective...
Which leads to my next story....
My threenager has had many boys that she would mention from time to time. We'd incorporate them into bedtime stories and she'd name her stuffed animals after them and bring them to tea parties. She would always address them as her prince and announce that they were getting married.
Today, she gave me an 'AWE' moment. She walked over and handed me a barrette. It's one that was given to us when she was born... one that, even though she was born with a head of hair, she has never, ever wanted to wear. She asked me to put it in her hair... Sure, I can do that.. After getting it positioned just right, she looks at me and says, "I'll have to make sure my daddy sees this. Do you think he will like it?"
Prince Daddy is the only one that she wants to impress. :) :) Keep it that way, darling... you've got many years before you need to let your Prince Charming come in and compliment your barrettes. :)
She completely caught me by surprise the other day. Over the last few weeks, she has been helping me out a lot and with a smile on her face. It's wonderful and high praise is given, which just makes her smile even bigger!
I decided to hang a carrot this week, because we just have an overload of toys. I offered to buy her ONE toy if she helped me to clean up and sort through our toys, putting away the baby toys and sorting out what no one uses. She thought this was a great idea....
So we get to work.. she is doing amazing sorting out baby toys, blocks and potato head limbs.... and then she says it... "So now I'll be able to get a Prince Barbie!" ... WHAT???!??? When did this happen?????? I thought she'd want to get a new ball or a teapot or a teddy bear? When did this transition from simple (and cheap) toys turn into a gender specific type of doll... and a princely one at that!
Of course, we will be going shopping for the latest Prince soon, as she did keep her end of the bargain. I guess she has to grow up... and keep things in perspective...
Which leads to my next story....
My threenager has had many boys that she would mention from time to time. We'd incorporate them into bedtime stories and she'd name her stuffed animals after them and bring them to tea parties. She would always address them as her prince and announce that they were getting married.
Today, she gave me an 'AWE' moment. She walked over and handed me a barrette. It's one that was given to us when she was born... one that, even though she was born with a head of hair, she has never, ever wanted to wear. She asked me to put it in her hair... Sure, I can do that.. After getting it positioned just right, she looks at me and says, "I'll have to make sure my daddy sees this. Do you think he will like it?"
Prince Daddy is the only one that she wants to impress. :) :) Keep it that way, darling... you've got many years before you need to let your Prince Charming come in and compliment your barrettes. :)
Wednesday, 21 May 2014
You know you're a mom of multiples when . . . .
You know you're a mom of multiples when . . . .
... Zombie is a state of being. Exhausted is a goal. Sleep is a dream!
... You forget that you have more than one baby..... funny back story to this one... (so, once shortly after we were home from the hospital, while is aforementioned zombie state, I forgot for a moment that I had more than one baby. I thought we had an animal or something in the house, as I was in the living room dozing off holding one of the babies.... Nope, it was just another baby... mommy fail!! ;)
... You witness your identical twins run into each other.... and they have matching (but opposite) bumps on the exact same spots of their forehead... (hmmm... maybe because they are within one centimeter of each other's height!)
... You think to yourself about how the twins (in my case) are already 18 months old, and how you should really get started planning their big first birthday bash... (Yep, zombie state again.... love it when the truth hits me.... <face palm!>)
... You are super excited to enter all of your diaper points and then even more excited to see what you can 'buy' with them.... and then it hits you that you've gone through that many packs of diapers in a month!!!!! YIKES!!!
... Anyone who ever complains to you about being tired had better duck.... (I literally have to bite my tongue when people who don't 'get it' complain about being 'SOOOOO' tired.... I just smile..... HUGE SMILE... HUGE GRITTED TEETH SMILE.... If you say this to me and I just smile at you, please know that at that moment, I am not wishing well on you. :P)
... People expect you to sympathize with your spouse when your spouse is on midnights, but is able to be out of the house to ensure he has a quite space to sleep after work..... (Hahahaha, honey, this one comes from someone at your work yesterday. He looked shocked when I didn't show sympathy to you being tired... Seriously???? Um, I'm up a lot of the night, EVERY NIGHT! Shift work would be LOVELY!)
This list is a work in progress...
... Zombie is a state of being. Exhausted is a goal. Sleep is a dream!
... You forget that you have more than one baby..... funny back story to this one... (so, once shortly after we were home from the hospital, while is aforementioned zombie state, I forgot for a moment that I had more than one baby. I thought we had an animal or something in the house, as I was in the living room dozing off holding one of the babies.... Nope, it was just another baby... mommy fail!! ;)
... You witness your identical twins run into each other.... and they have matching (but opposite) bumps on the exact same spots of their forehead... (hmmm... maybe because they are within one centimeter of each other's height!)
... You think to yourself about how the twins (in my case) are already 18 months old, and how you should really get started planning their big first birthday bash... (Yep, zombie state again.... love it when the truth hits me.... <face palm!>)
... You are super excited to enter all of your diaper points and then even more excited to see what you can 'buy' with them.... and then it hits you that you've gone through that many packs of diapers in a month!!!!! YIKES!!!
... Anyone who ever complains to you about being tired had better duck.... (I literally have to bite my tongue when people who don't 'get it' complain about being 'SOOOOO' tired.... I just smile..... HUGE SMILE... HUGE GRITTED TEETH SMILE.... If you say this to me and I just smile at you, please know that at that moment, I am not wishing well on you. :P)
... People expect you to sympathize with your spouse when your spouse is on midnights, but is able to be out of the house to ensure he has a quite space to sleep after work..... (Hahahaha, honey, this one comes from someone at your work yesterday. He looked shocked when I didn't show sympathy to you being tired... Seriously???? Um, I'm up a lot of the night, EVERY NIGHT! Shift work would be LOVELY!)
This list is a work in progress...
You know you're a mom when . . . .
... You squeal in excitement when you see that diapers are on sale. (This has happened in public... yep, people think that I've gotten a winning lottery ticket... Nope, diapers are on sale!! )
... You finish eating dinner, while holding and putting pressure on a child's bleeding nose.
... Being thrown up on doesn't phase you... to the point that you aren't completely in a rush to change clothes until you know the child is ok.
... You kiss invisible boo-boos.
This list will keep growing.....
... You finish eating dinner, while holding and putting pressure on a child's bleeding nose.
... Being thrown up on doesn't phase you... to the point that you aren't completely in a rush to change clothes until you know the child is ok.
... You kiss invisible boo-boos.
This list will keep growing.....
Better Late Than Never!
Today, I took the kids out for a playdate.
It was a playdate that I scheduled to conveniently fall on my day off. It was supposed to begin at 10am. I say 'supposed to begin at' because, with three kids three and under, I am still working to master the art of getting out the door in time, if I have the kids in tow.
After a miserable night of teething and wake-ups, the boys were finally awake by 9:15. I thought to myself how this would be perfect timing. Breakfast for 15 minutes, a simple change of clothes and diapers, and away we go. My threenager was already eating, and she likes to dress herself these days... pants on backwards and all.
9:30 hits, and I am positive that I've got this in the bag. Boys are all washed up and I'm pretty pumped at the fact that we are on schedule!
Ya, not so much. My relatively easy kids, just did not feel like cooperating. After chasing naked little butts around the house (YES!! We are in the whole 'I can take my diaper off fast and you can't stop me phase!! oh, and both of them are like that now!!) and finally getting them both wrangled into their outfits (which they ended up being too warm in anyways, as the temperature around here has been going from cold to hot to cold to hot... it just needs to decide what it wants to be!!), we were finally off!!!
TO THE VAN, that is...My threenager is miserable at the front door, thinking that I'm just bringing the boys. I assure her that I'm just getting them loaded first. Each boy in one arm, I am finally outside and at the van. I buckle in Everett, CHECK! Lift Andy into his seat.... and the smell hit me just as his sweet innocent smile did.... There is Andy, in full tilt of the head absolute cuteness smelling just about as rotten as an 18month old boy can smell..... Wonderful.... I think I walked back from the van to the house twice, while trying to decide if I should just pack him in and change him at the play place or if I should change him.. I decide that no one should sit in poop unless absolutely necessary. So out comes Everett and Andy... Yes, we are all now officially back in the house again.....
<SIGH>
I glance at the clock as I'm heading back in the house...
10:09....... Are you freaking kidding me??? It's been 40 minutes of getting ready to get the kids out to the van!!! Like seriously, if I had a second to even try to assemble myself and feel halfway decent (honestly, I definitely am starting to look like a worn down mommy IMO), I don't think I'd have minded this half as much.... It gets to this point almost every time I try to take the kids out... that moment of 'Should I just call it a try and pack it in, cause this sucks and we are running late!!'...
Nope! I told my threenager that we are going out to the local tropical gardens, so we are going..... even if it kills me!!
Back in the van by 10:20!! I think it was a record, and I had a glorious moment of 'Alright, I rocked that bum change and got them loaded so fast!!'...... just in time to see that I didn't have enough gas to make it to our destination, so I had to make another stop anyways.... LOL...
What are you gonna do?? Sometimes, you're just meant to be late! (We arrived at our destination 40 minutes late, but my awesome friend who we met up with - who has twins as well - didn't make it by 10 am either, so I didn't feel as horrible....)
Being a busy mom can be so crazy at times, but it's so worth it! I personally find any set timed events to be the hardest part of having three littles. We have such a relaxed schedule, which really works for us. We have three healthy and happy kids that just enjoy life and make our lives so much more worth living.
I've heard various solutions to the 'being late' issue. For most things, I have a helping hand, and we can usually be out the door relatively on time. On our own, however, it is quite a challenge... I think that it is definitely more challenging when the child to adult ratio is unbalanced.... it's just a part of being gifted with these three beautiful beings. It's a part of being their mom and just going with the flow and making sure that they have a great life.
What a great day we had! The short time that we spent looking at animals, sharing juice and donuts, and watching the kids play was so worth all the prep time... I know that they'll be too big to scoop up and take on playdates soon enough, so, for now, I'll just revel in my accomplishment of making it to a playdate..... even if we were late!
It was a playdate that I scheduled to conveniently fall on my day off. It was supposed to begin at 10am. I say 'supposed to begin at' because, with three kids three and under, I am still working to master the art of getting out the door in time, if I have the kids in tow.
After a miserable night of teething and wake-ups, the boys were finally awake by 9:15. I thought to myself how this would be perfect timing. Breakfast for 15 minutes, a simple change of clothes and diapers, and away we go. My threenager was already eating, and she likes to dress herself these days... pants on backwards and all.
9:30 hits, and I am positive that I've got this in the bag. Boys are all washed up and I'm pretty pumped at the fact that we are on schedule!
Ya, not so much. My relatively easy kids, just did not feel like cooperating. After chasing naked little butts around the house (YES!! We are in the whole 'I can take my diaper off fast and you can't stop me phase!! oh, and both of them are like that now!!) and finally getting them both wrangled into their outfits (which they ended up being too warm in anyways, as the temperature around here has been going from cold to hot to cold to hot... it just needs to decide what it wants to be!!), we were finally off!!!
TO THE VAN, that is...My threenager is miserable at the front door, thinking that I'm just bringing the boys. I assure her that I'm just getting them loaded first. Each boy in one arm, I am finally outside and at the van. I buckle in Everett, CHECK! Lift Andy into his seat.... and the smell hit me just as his sweet innocent smile did.... There is Andy, in full tilt of the head absolute cuteness smelling just about as rotten as an 18month old boy can smell..... Wonderful.... I think I walked back from the van to the house twice, while trying to decide if I should just pack him in and change him at the play place or if I should change him.. I decide that no one should sit in poop unless absolutely necessary. So out comes Everett and Andy... Yes, we are all now officially back in the house again.....
<SIGH>
I glance at the clock as I'm heading back in the house...
10:09....... Are you freaking kidding me??? It's been 40 minutes of getting ready to get the kids out to the van!!! Like seriously, if I had a second to even try to assemble myself and feel halfway decent (honestly, I definitely am starting to look like a worn down mommy IMO), I don't think I'd have minded this half as much.... It gets to this point almost every time I try to take the kids out... that moment of 'Should I just call it a try and pack it in, cause this sucks and we are running late!!'...
Nope! I told my threenager that we are going out to the local tropical gardens, so we are going..... even if it kills me!!
Back in the van by 10:20!! I think it was a record, and I had a glorious moment of 'Alright, I rocked that bum change and got them loaded so fast!!'...... just in time to see that I didn't have enough gas to make it to our destination, so I had to make another stop anyways.... LOL...
What are you gonna do?? Sometimes, you're just meant to be late! (We arrived at our destination 40 minutes late, but my awesome friend who we met up with - who has twins as well - didn't make it by 10 am either, so I didn't feel as horrible....)
Being a busy mom can be so crazy at times, but it's so worth it! I personally find any set timed events to be the hardest part of having three littles. We have such a relaxed schedule, which really works for us. We have three healthy and happy kids that just enjoy life and make our lives so much more worth living.
I've heard various solutions to the 'being late' issue. For most things, I have a helping hand, and we can usually be out the door relatively on time. On our own, however, it is quite a challenge... I think that it is definitely more challenging when the child to adult ratio is unbalanced.... it's just a part of being gifted with these three beautiful beings. It's a part of being their mom and just going with the flow and making sure that they have a great life.
What a great day we had! The short time that we spent looking at animals, sharing juice and donuts, and watching the kids play was so worth all the prep time... I know that they'll be too big to scoop up and take on playdates soon enough, so, for now, I'll just revel in my accomplishment of making it to a playdate..... even if we were late!
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