Boys will be boys!!

Ah, today, I REALLY hate that saying! Even more after reading an article today that excused rape (and murder!) as a mistake that boys will make, because 'boys will be boys.'

I have those 'boys will be boys' kids. I hear it all the time. I hear it regarding their messy hair and how they can antagonize their sister (and each other). I hear it about how much they just love running around, both clothed and naked, and about how they will eat us out of house and home. Everytime I hear it, I kind of cringe inside. I think from now on, I will REALLY cringe inside. Having various, insignificant definitions of what makes a boy (and often are used in a negative way) is kind of demeaning in itself. What child should be defined (by gender, in this case) for being a normal, active child?

Just a sidenote: Since people are always telling me that my boys are so busy, and that I must just always be chasing them, etc.... does that make it ok for me to tell people that their less active children are just bumps on a log?? lol... anyways, maybe I'm too tired to be writing this....

I believe in childhood, free of gender roles. Children will naturally gravitate towards what they love and what defines them. I am all for allowing children to run free and enjoy their childhood. Both of my sons have played with dolls and dishes, AND LOVE IT. By gender definition, technically, isn't that a huge no-no?? Like seriously, boys will be boys.... I have never met a boy who dislikes food (other than when going through a picky phase).. and playing with 'baby dolls' is normal to most children. They are simply mimicking their parents' behaviour with them. Which is awesome.... and telling of how good of a job the parents are doing. I surely would be missing some tender moments with my littles if they were stuck only to traditional 'boys will be boys' play.


My husband and I decided early on with our daughter that, when it comes to allowing her to enjoy a REAL childhood, we would pick our battles carefully. She, and our sons, are encouraged to get in the dirt and find bugs (although our daughter is 'scared' of them currently. They are encouraged to run around the backyard shoeless and jump carefree into our little wading pool. They are encouraged to go digging in the pots and pans and make musical instruments out of them and bang to their hearts content. Within reason and safely, they are able to PLAY however they want.... HOWEVER, whichever way they choose to play, they will do so respecting each other and whoever else is around.

 Respect, whether for opposite gender, age, sexual orientation or race, is not a matter of allowing a child to be 'a boy'.. Not teaching a child the respect that is needed to live a good and wholesome life, without prejudice, is what actually robs children in the long run. Without giving our children the tools they need to succeed in life, we fail as parents, as well.

I sincerely wish that my children could never even fathom how such atrocities can be committed towards other human being. We are certainly raising them to show love, honour and respect to others, as that is the best foundation for their relationships that they can build.

I love my kids more than I can ever describe... that said, God help me if I ever sweep something so heinous under the rug and shrug it off saying 'boys will be boys.'