Marriage.
Enough said. Such a small word, which contains so much! It can bring abundant joy, misery, or fear (to say the least) to anyone who hears the word.
My second resolution this year is to work on my (our) marriage. I want and need to have a happy marriage. We need to figure out what will make this work and get to that point.
When I think of marriage, I think of work. Lately, our marriage has needed work. We (I say 'we' because when married it's not 'I' but 'we'!) are coming out of an extremely stressful 'season.' I'm glad that I have a patient husband. I also wish that I had a husband with a bit less sarcasm in stressful times!
Changes are hard on most people, but I find them extremely challenging. Ever since I was a little kid, I remember my teachers in school telling me that I needed to learn how to adapt when things change. Um, no. I'm an Aries. I'm strong-willed and I really enjoy things as they are ... to the point of I literally need to stop and let my brain adjust if anything changes too quickly. Through the last year, I've had to stop for more than just a moment to adjust to changes. Too many changes. Too many life-changing changes. Things have been stressful to say the least.
We are making headway though! At times in the last year, I've honestly wondered if marriage is worth the work. Is it worth the sacrifice? Is it really worth it? In this last year, we have seen family members pass away, welcomed a baby, started homeschooling with Norah, said good-bye to child-bearing years, and I went for surgery at the beginning of the holiday season. All of these things were huge sources of stress and adjustment.... my specialty. There are many times when I was just done: exhausted, spent, tired, emotional and DONE.
Marriage is hard work! It takes compromise, commitment, and meeting on so many levels. It takes everything that a long tedious job would require. When the work is put into it, the benefits come as well. Sometimes, it takes more work to reap the reward, but the reward will come!
We have committed to try and reconnect with our friends who are also married. We are all in the same boat, and the company of other committed couples is so refreshing! To be real and honest with another couple who 'get it' is priceless. It is a sanity saver and marriage saver to know that other people also do not always think marriage is a breeze.
As we enter a season of calm, with potentially huge changes coming, I'm trying my hardest to say good-bye to the stress of last year and embrace what is to come (while taking enough time for my brain to adjust, of course). We are trying to keep the peace and live and enjoy the moments and time we have together. If nothing else, last year has taught us that time with each other and with family is well spent!
We have some great things going for us, and we have great support along on this ride with us. It's an adventure ... and it's so worth it.
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