Disorderly Order

I am known as someone who thrives off of order. Everything has it's place, and everything needs to be organized. I like to do things myself and have them done my way. I need to be able to control the process and the outcome. Most, if not all things, that I can have in order turn out very well. This is one reason why people would tell me, when pregnant with the twins, "If anyone was having twins, you are the person who can handle it!" - which drove my crazy, by the way. Everyone thinks that I can keep my kids on schedules and plan my days down to a 'T'.

Well, I have a secret that might shock you!

Although order is a top priority in my personal life, when it comes to parenting, I am about as 'free' as they come. This surprises even me!! I am sure that I have some visitors who leave and just wonder 'where did she come from?' Parenting is the most important job that I have ever had, yet, my approach to it, at times, startles even myself. The best thing about how WE parent (I will definitely include my hubby in this, as he lives here and we parent together) is that it works for us, and it works for the kids. They are all happy, healthy, thriving, and adjust well to whatever situations they are placed. Life just never ends up as you would expect.

I was never one to believe in scheduling kids. They came with a natural schedule, and, as a stay at home mom, I definitely have the time to find out how their own unique systems work. It is wonderful and amazingly easy to work with how they were born. Parenting is so much less stressful that I could have ever imagined. YES, IT HAS ITS BAD DAYS, as any job would. I just know that this is what works for us. We have been blessed with amazingly awesome kids, who show me that life is more important than counting down the hours until the next thing on the schedule.

One of the best examples of this would be our bedtime routine. What is that?? A bedtime has never existed for our daughter (who will soon turn 3). She has also never needed a particular bed, blanket, stuffed toy, soother, story, or any other bedtime ritual. When she is tired, she goes to bed. End of issue. So simple. No stress. This is how it has always been. She would fall asleep anywhere, WHEN SHE IS TIRED. I decided early on, after watching other parents struggle with bedtimes everyday, that this is not a battle that I found worth having.  Now, applying this with the twins, I thought we would run into more issues, as there are two of them. Their schedules have synced, and, most days, (NOT TEETHING DAYS!!) they are sleeping within half an hour or so of each other when they do go down to sleep. They also go to bed when they are tired. I do not have the time to sit around and try to get them to sleep. If I wait until they are tired, then BAM! They go to sleep. Easy! Easy! Easy!

Parenting has brought out a side of me that I have never really expected to see. A side that just wants to sit back do nothing! Yes, do nothing, but cherish the after-hours times with the kids - the midnight snuggles underneath lit Christmas trees, the late-night hot chocolates shared with giggles, the extra help with dinner dishes that results in water everywhere, and so much more. My life after 7pm (or whenever the kids would be in bed) would be drastically different. I wouldn't even be aware of all of the special memories that I would be missing.

My kids have taught me that not everything in life has to be planned to be wonderful. It is a lesson that I am still learning. Every day is different and exciting, and, even at the end of a rough day, I have to admit that life is wonderful, even if it is still unplanned. Sometimes, I just laugh, because lessons that people have tried to teach me for decades are being taught to me by the littlest and most special people that I know. Sometimes, it is the littlest people that make the biggest difference.

After thought - I AM NOT BASHING ANYONE'S PARENTING STYLE. Sleep training and schedules are just two things that our family does not practice. That does not mean that it doesn't work for other families. Parenting all comes down to what works for each family. Every family has a different set of circumstances and needs to do what is best for them.