Where My Heart Is

I learned the true meaning of the phrase "Home is where the heart is" today.

My husband and I have been debating on purchasing a business for the last week or so. The price is right. It is a field of work that I am comfortable and have experience doing. We would be able to handle it financially with some added income after all of the expenses. Not a bad looking option for sure. Our minds were pretty made up that, if we could arrange a few things, we were going to go ahead with it.

Another debate that we have been having on and off lately is if I can or will return to work when my maternity leave is done. The costs of childcare would require me to work full time. So do I take the plunge? Do I try to get back into the workforce and add some extra into our household from a financial prospective? Do I just try to 'pawn off' the kids to family so I can at least work a little bit? Do I just stay home with the kiddos?

Ugh. Decisions, decisions, decisions... Decisions have never been my strong point.

Then, breakfast happened. We got the boys into their highchairs and I started giving them their fruit and toast. It HIT me. Parenting these kids is so important to me. This is where I need to be. I am being completely selfish with my kids. I want to be the one to see their firsts. I want to feed them breakfast in the morning. I want to see how they are when they wake up. I want to raise them and not watch from afar as I work my butt off.

I've never felt so strongly about my role as a parent until this morning. Of course, I have ideas and opinions about parenting, and I have always said that I wanted to be home with them. I didn't realize that it could be so fulfilling to just be here and raise my kids. Sacrificing time with them as they are in such a fast-growing and exciting stage of life cannot be bought. I don't even think I could be happy if I knew that I was missing all that is to come.

So, for now, as I begin to work on my budget and prepare for possibly harder financial times (as my maternity leave is coming to an end soon), I am thankful that I will have time to watch the kids grow and play and be happy. My life will be happy. My life will be full enough, as I prepare for whatever our next step will be.

I will be exactly where I should be - where my heart is, and a big part of that is feeding my kids breakfast. :)