Some of the Fears of Parenting

Everyone is always so quick to speak about the 'joys of parenting.' I, myself, am one to point out everything that I love about being a parent - the hugs and kisses, giggles, snuggles, and everything in between. However, there is one thing that comes with being a parent that often goes unsaid. Being a parent can be scary. There are definitely days that I need to keep a balance and learn to just live without fear. The fear of losing a child or the fear of them losing me can be crippling, if I let my mind run with those thoughts.

These last few weeks, there have been so many toddler and baby deaths in the news and I just cringe at hearing about it. It makes me want to build a bubble house and wrap them in bubble wrap and never let them out of my sight!!! How one would cope with losing a child is beyond me! The ones in my life that I know have dealt with that are the strongest people that I know. To have someone be such a part of you, and then lose them, would just rip one apart.

Our daughter has a big interest in swimming lately. When I say swimming, I mean that she is in a pool with tons of supervision and, usually, multiple floatation devices. Just knowing that she is out of MY arms' reach (yet in someone else's) can make me worry. I can physically see and hear that she is ok, yet I am worried. The images of what 'COULD' happen can sometimes stick in my mind for way too long.

With so many recent tragedies in the media and being followed in social media, I am finding that I need to cut myself off of them to be able to keep my head sane. If I follow every story, I am consumed with sadness and then begin to fear if the same may happen to my family.

I had a conversation with my mother-in-law a few weeks back about this, and she said something that I haven't forgotten. She told me that we are very prepared family and that we need to just do our best every day. I will expand on the context of this conversation now.

We are prepared - I am a preparation guru.. ok, maybe not a guru, but I do like to be prepared, er, OVER-prepared. Our family carries life insurance policies to cover funeral costs, and our wills are done. Yes, we are only in our 20's but things like that are super important.... *I can hear some of you wondering out loud, if I am still in my 20's.. I still have 9 months to go before the big 3-0*. Our taxes are up to date, our bills are paid, and our family knows what we would want if we were ever to pass away. I guess those bases are covered, so there is no reason to worry about that. We've just got to pray for a long, healthy life from this point, I guess. :)

We need to do the our best - EVERY DAY. This is not the same as YOLO. This is about responsible living. This is about seizing opportunities, being generous with 'I love you's,' and giving extra snuggles at every chance. Doing our best to ensure our children are safe and know that they are loved. Having the peace to know that if they or we pass away, there is love bursting out of every seam in the surviving broken hearts. That is what I think about doing our best every day.

I know that this post only covers fears of our children or ourselves dying, but the spectrum of parental fear are so vast, that there is no way I could cover them all in one post. I am sure that other aspects of great fear will come up in the future, but I don't have the desire to depress myself right now.

So, in the meantime, I strive to live life fully and without fear. I do have those moments where I just can't shake the 'what if's'. For now, I will just have to know that it is all out of my control from here. I do my best, and that is the best that I can do.