Don't throw stones!

Today, I had my first taste of how it is going to be to have my child grow up in a world with children who are parented differently than her. For the most part, I believe that people should raise their children however they would like... That said, there are some errors in parenting that can really send the wrong message to kids. So, the story begins....

After dinner today, since it had cooled down a bit, my mother-in-law (MIL) and I decided to take the kids to the park. We have a small park that is not often being used where we like to go. It is only a few minutes by walk from our house. We get the boys in the stroller and 'saddle up' the dog and off we go. Norah is allowed to walk the dog in the last leg of this journey, as the roads are very quiet. We didn't know that our visit to the park would not even be for 5 minutes.

When we arrive, there are people there. No big deal. Norah has dropped the dog's leash to go play, so, as we enter the park, I grab his leash quickly, as dogs are supposed to be on leashes. (No biggie. He is super friendly either way, so I am not worried, but will definitely abide by the rules, especially while others are there.) I am waiting just outside of the play area with the boys, as I am now holding the leash and we are outnumbered. 3 kids and 1 dog vs. 2 adults. No problem. We just want Norah to have a good time. Norah, the 'people person' that she is, decides that she wants to play with the other children - 3 kids (I'll be generous and say they were aged 4-6), who are being supervised by 4 men and a lady (who is holding a child) WHO HAVE BEER WITH THEM... I guess that might have been my first warning that perhaps I should not want my kid to play with them, because, seriously, who brings beer to a park that is geared mostly towards toddlers. I absolutely do not mind people drinking, as I have been known to have a drink here or there myself. HOWEVER, I have NEVER seen adults have beer at the park when they are watching kids... and I thought having my dog run around was bad...

ANYWAYS, Norah joins the kids and sits with them under the play equipment, IN FULL VIEW of all the adults. The other kids, ALL THREE OF THEM, start throwing stones and sticks at her feet, and they are bouncing up on her legs. I am not some crazed parent and my kid is pretty cool with things, so I am thinking 'ok, let's see how this plays out'. I was waiting for the other parents to say something. NOTHING. Really, this is how it's going to be. Starting to be really annoyed. Norah is just smiling at them nervously, and they keep doing it. OK, STARTING TO BE REALLY, REALLY ANNOYED. Still the parents say nothing. The boy grabs a handful of stones and throws them in her face. They are at most 2.5 feet apart.. OK. GASKET OFFICIALLY BLOWN.

I am very comfortable with speaking up in general, however, I really don't want to have to chastise someone else's kids. I calmly, but firmly, say, "Norah, we are leaving. We do not play with mean kids who throw stones." So MIL picks up Norah, who thinks that she has done something wrong, as she is apologizing. She had stones all over her! Then, the parents have the nerve to look at me, and say, "Really? Is that necessary?" "Yes, it is necessary. Your kids are throwing stones. I do not need to take my kid to get glasses if she gets an eye injury from your kids throwing stones!" "Seriously. You need to be like THAT?" THEN, the kids start getting upset that they were called mean, so the parents are telling them that they aren't mean. I AM.!. Really, people, this is how we are going to play this!?! So I am apparently the 'bad guy' for calling them, or rather their children, out for throwing stones! My child is two, and we have already had the "Do NOT throw stones" discussion. It is not that hard.

Had that been my child who was throwing stones, she would have been on her way home already. Not only were they not concerned with their children's behaviour, they were defending it! I am still in shock! I was raised with consequences to my actions and respect for other human beings. I have absolutely no problem with punishing Norah if she throws stones. I will even happily tell her that she is being mean. WHY? BECAUSE THROWING STONES IS MEAN... and, for the even bigger fact, IT IS DANGEROUS! Why would I not say something about them potentially hurting my child, or even each other?

In afterthought, I think that I absolutely reacted as any caring and concerned parent would. How can I allow them to have destructive behaviour and not say something? Obviously, the other parents were not interested in doing it. They also had a huge problem with me using the word 'mean'. Seriously, call a spade as a spade. I am not one to sugar-coat with my daughter in regards to her behaviour. If she is being mean, she is being mean. If she is being awesome, she is being awesome. If you have a problem addressing your kids behaviour at this point in life, I am very scared to see them as adults. Not being corrected when young will only lead to disaster as they age.

This whole situation really has me mourning the loss of responsible parents that I see. Key word there is that I usually only SEE it. Now that Norah is growing up, I think I will be experiencing it more and more. Why are people so scared to call it like it is? There is nothing wrong with telling your child that they are doing wrong and correcting them. I absolutely do not have perfect little angels living here, but I do my best to keep them in line and respectful of others. That is a part of parenting that is essential to them being able to adjust to reality. As adults, we have laws that govern us also. It is easier to train a child to adhere to boundaries and rules than to try to teach an adult who has never had them enforced at home.

I am not saying that these parents have no rules and are like this all the time. This is just the situation that we encountered today. I am saying that, had that been my child, there would not have been an opportunity for her to throw stones again, because I'd have swooped in and stopped that immediately. Different parents, different methods. Sometimes, it is situations like this that confirm that I am on the right track with how I do things with my kids. In this situation, I know that I was right. I needed to defend my daughter. Mama bear does exist, by the way.

No matter which way you look at it.......

THROWING STONES IS WRONG! DON'T THROW STONES!

*After leaving that park and experience behind, we went to a park across town, where Norah had a lovely time playing with some friendly kids. She was still shedding stones as I pushed her on the swing at the second park... and I gave her a talk about defending herself. I told her that she needs to tell kids who throw stones to "STOP IT!"... and that she doesn't even need to say 'Please!'. :)