My daughter has a clam! - anatomy lessons for a 2 year old

Let me begin by saying that I am all for the proper education of children. I do think that there is a time and a place for their proper education, as well. For instance, when they learn particular things, they need to be old enough to learn when it is appropriate to use some of the things they have learned... and so this post begins....

My daughter has a clam. This is the term that a dear friend used when describing how she had poop everywhere when a diaper change was taking place. "She has poop all up in her.... all up in her... all up in her CLAM!" Apparently, there was a lot of poop. I laughed at the the term clam, and didn't think much of it...

Fast forward to the next massive poop that I change, and I tell my daughter, "Honey, you have poop in your clam." "I have poop in my clam?" "Yep. You have poop in your clam!" Within a week, I am quite sure that EVERYONE SHE CAME IN TO CONTACT WITH knew that she had a clam and that she gets poop in it sometimes.

Not long after this revelation, she was watching me change the boys. She says to me, "They have squirter bums!" and asks if her brothers have poop on their clams.  I tell her no because the boys don't have clams. They just have <gulp> 'squirter bums.'

At this point, I was wondering if I am doing my two year old an injustice by not giving her all of the proper 'down below' words. After all, she is just two, and I don't know yet if she will grasp the differences between all of the female parts and all of the male parts or even the differences between what is on a female vs a male. Am I making the right decision at this point?

Needless to say, I did not wonder for very much longer. A different friend of mine came over to visit and my daughter  lovingly told her all about her clam and her brothers' squirter bums. My friend looked at her and smiled and said, "Actually, your brothers have penises."

Deer in headlights right here! My radar of soon to be repeated words was going off like crazy! It really isn't the words that I worry about, but rather the context in which they are used.

Sure enough, for the next week, my daughter told everyone that she LOVES penises. Emphasis on the LOVE... She LOVES penises. Yes, you walking down the street, my daughter loves penises. And you, in front of us in the grocery cash out lane, my daughter loves penises. I think that everyone she told turned a lovely shade of red. We did not have this issue when she told people she had a clam. People either smiled or laughed a little.

Don't get me wrong. I am all for teaching her the proper body parts. I do think that it needs to be at the right age. I really don't think that two is the right age for her. She already knows that, as a girl, she has lots of eggs in her belly that may one day turn into babies, and she understands that babies come out of bellies with the help of doctors. I have given her accurate information, but in ways that she can process and understand.

I really thought that I would have no problem teaching her proper words from the get go, and I was really surprised at how my mind changed when the time came. I think it is more of an ease into education rather than a misinformation. Clam is better than 'twat' or 'whoooha' in my books.

I guess that the whole point of this post is about how not all things can be decided before you get to that bridge in parenting. I love teaching our daughter new things. W have conversations about life and learning all the time. Yesterday, I told her that babies come out of the mom's clam when they are born, because I told her a friend of hers was going to be a big sister soon. Her response was "Ewwwww, that's gross. " Definitely not too young for the proper process, but I definitely would rather her walk up to a stranger and tell them that I had the boys come out of my clam than my vagina. Yep. That makes for a much less awkward greeting on the street. :)  I would take someone laughing about the wording over giving thought to my vagina any day. :)

* The desire to NOT have poop in her clam has since been the driving factor to having her potty trained. She is now doing excellent on the potty. In fact, she has not had poop in her clam once since she started on the potty! :)