Life has been crazy lately, but in a good way. Lots of time spent with family is never a bad thing. Time for a post while on the go! This should be entertaining.
Our daughter has a wild imagination. She says what comes to her mind. Sometimes we just shake our heads.
"I wish I was a toilet, so you could pee in me." <face palm>
"Mommy, I worried about you ALL day!" <melt heart.. she says this when I pick her up from daycare>
"Dad, you're old. You're twelve! No... you're FIVE!!! You're five because you can reach the cereal!"
I'll keep adding to this when more happen.
Saturday, 26 October 2013
Tuesday, 15 October 2013
The Princess Obsession
I sat a discussion recently about little girls who become 'obsessed' with a popular brand of princesses. I stayed out of it because I don't have experience with that..... well, I didn't at the time. I can now officially say that I do.
My daughter came home one day and I think that she can rattle off ten princesses by seeing their picture and she hasn't even seen their movies. I'll admit that I haven't seen many princess movies in the last couple of decades, so I'm a bit rusty on their stories and their messages.
I caught myself wondering what lessons, if any, is she going to learn from the ones that she does watch? Is she going to hop on the bandwagon of unrealistic expecting for relationships, work and how to get things in life?? Or rather is she going to see the princesses who are feisty (even though sweet as pie) who are willing to negotiate and fight for what they want??
I think that much of it can be a matter of parenting. There will always be times of unrealistic expectations. If we teach our kids young that they need to stand up for themselves and work hard to get what they want in life, then they can feel like they have a royal life.
Let's face it - the chances are slim that we will become true royalty in our life time. That is not to say that we won't be someone's princess (or queen) at some point in the future. It's all in the eye of the beholder. It is treating others well first that will elevate how we are perceived after all.
I have no problem with her wanting to be a princess. Her view of a princess is often someone who helps others, dresses up, and is a hard worker. If that continues, I hope she aspires to be a princess for the rest of her life.
Typed on my phone. Sorry if there are typos.
My daughter came home one day and I think that she can rattle off ten princesses by seeing their picture and she hasn't even seen their movies. I'll admit that I haven't seen many princess movies in the last couple of decades, so I'm a bit rusty on their stories and their messages.
I caught myself wondering what lessons, if any, is she going to learn from the ones that she does watch? Is she going to hop on the bandwagon of unrealistic expecting for relationships, work and how to get things in life?? Or rather is she going to see the princesses who are feisty (even though sweet as pie) who are willing to negotiate and fight for what they want??
I think that much of it can be a matter of parenting. There will always be times of unrealistic expectations. If we teach our kids young that they need to stand up for themselves and work hard to get what they want in life, then they can feel like they have a royal life.
Let's face it - the chances are slim that we will become true royalty in our life time. That is not to say that we won't be someone's princess (or queen) at some point in the future. It's all in the eye of the beholder. It is treating others well first that will elevate how we are perceived after all.
I have no problem with her wanting to be a princess. Her view of a princess is often someone who helps others, dresses up, and is a hard worker. If that continues, I hope she aspires to be a princess for the rest of her life.
Typed on my phone. Sorry if there are typos.
Thursday, 10 October 2013
The Balancing Act
Life with ten month old twins and a now three year old is hectic, to say the least. I am sure that you would expect me to say nothing different. It is absolutely enjoyable. However, it doesn't stop.
Lately, I find that I am more able to take time aside to do things for me (haha.... Read as, I help out others as my escape). I've been getting out of the house helping a friend out with her business, volunteering a few times a month, and getting to church events. All of these things get me out and socializing with adults, which can definitely help to keep me sane!
I find that, as my social times and outings on the calendar are filling up quickly (I actually should probably take a picture of my calendar and post it on here, because it is literally a mess), I sometimes struggle to find a balance.... as always, a good serving of sleep deprivation helps with that too... :)
So, I have been working on trying to balance household tasks, children, and ME!! Yes, I've finally made it into the equation! I find that, even though there is often a lot to do or a teething babe in tow or a three year old with an attitude, if I don't take time to 'get away' mentally from the four walls of my house, then I am much more exhausted than I need to be. Going for a walk around the block or having a long phone conversation is a great escape, but having an HOUR or two away (or even more at this stage) replenishes the soul!
As a mom, it is so easy to let ourselves fall to the side and to take care of everyone but ourselves. I am finally starting to shift priorities. People have said this for a long time to me, but, now, I feel a lot more confident in the 'shift' taking place.
Onward and upward!!! The toys can be put away later! There are still plenty of clean dishes in the cupboards! The kids won't stay small forever. Time to take time to myself and refresh so that I can keep enjoying them at this stage. :) Loving it!
Lately, I find that I am more able to take time aside to do things for me (haha.... Read as, I help out others as my escape). I've been getting out of the house helping a friend out with her business, volunteering a few times a month, and getting to church events. All of these things get me out and socializing with adults, which can definitely help to keep me sane!
I find that, as my social times and outings on the calendar are filling up quickly (I actually should probably take a picture of my calendar and post it on here, because it is literally a mess), I sometimes struggle to find a balance.... as always, a good serving of sleep deprivation helps with that too... :)
So, I have been working on trying to balance household tasks, children, and ME!! Yes, I've finally made it into the equation! I find that, even though there is often a lot to do or a teething babe in tow or a three year old with an attitude, if I don't take time to 'get away' mentally from the four walls of my house, then I am much more exhausted than I need to be. Going for a walk around the block or having a long phone conversation is a great escape, but having an HOUR or two away (or even more at this stage) replenishes the soul!
As a mom, it is so easy to let ourselves fall to the side and to take care of everyone but ourselves. I am finally starting to shift priorities. People have said this for a long time to me, but, now, I feel a lot more confident in the 'shift' taking place.
Onward and upward!!! The toys can be put away later! There are still plenty of clean dishes in the cupboards! The kids won't stay small forever. Time to take time to myself and refresh so that I can keep enjoying them at this stage. :) Loving it!
Sunday, 29 September 2013
Navigating Treatments
So, it's been quite a while since I've had the time to get on here and write! I just finished up a post, and I really should be in bed. It's 9:30pm and I can hardly keep my eyes open. Sleep deprivation at it's finest!
The last couple of weeks have been stressful, to say the least! Different viruses have hit the boys, hubby was away with work, Norah started 'school' again, and, with the weather and air pressure changing, nights have been quite sleepless... I am LUCKY to get more than 4 hours ..... going on almost 3 weeks of this!
Just over a week ago, our older twin was hospitalized for dehydration as he was very sick, and while there, we were told that he was also low in iron. He was given a treatment plan that was questionable. After beginning treatment, he became very ill. Even after lowering his dosage, he was still ill, so we decided that we would just make changes to his diet to add in extra iron, since he reacts so violently to it.
He is finally on the mend, and we are hoping that he will continue this way. It is hard having sick kids. It is even harder when the treatment that you are given for your child is making them even sicker! It is also hard when you are given a plan of what medical professionals want you to do, and you know that it is not working for your kid. Having to decide if it will be continued or not is a huge decision. It is stressful! No parent wants to harm their child, either by giving them something that ends up harming them or by not giving them something that will make them better! If only it were easier and medications were the same for everyone... However, that is not how it goes. Treatments are not a one size fits all kind of thing! What works for one child may not work for another. A dosage that works for one child may not work for another, and so on....
Parents, please listen to your instincts when it comes to your kids! If something is just not right, look into it! There have been a few times over the last few weeks where I had to go with what my intuition has said, and each time, it has been a crucial decision. Other than the diet change vs. medication decision (which we will have to wait for the end result for a bit after tests), they have all proven to be the right decision.
Moms, we are given 'mommy instincts' for a reason. Follow them!! This child grew inside of you and you know them better than anyone else. If you just KNOW that there is something wrong, follow up!
I guess that I just needed to get that out there. Take your children's health seriously and don't just do what you are told. Do your research and find out what is best for your family and try to keep them healthy. :)
Lots of love, health and happiness to all of you... and hopefully for us too... extra doses of health would be great right now. ;)
The last couple of weeks have been stressful, to say the least! Different viruses have hit the boys, hubby was away with work, Norah started 'school' again, and, with the weather and air pressure changing, nights have been quite sleepless... I am LUCKY to get more than 4 hours ..... going on almost 3 weeks of this!
Just over a week ago, our older twin was hospitalized for dehydration as he was very sick, and while there, we were told that he was also low in iron. He was given a treatment plan that was questionable. After beginning treatment, he became very ill. Even after lowering his dosage, he was still ill, so we decided that we would just make changes to his diet to add in extra iron, since he reacts so violently to it.
He is finally on the mend, and we are hoping that he will continue this way. It is hard having sick kids. It is even harder when the treatment that you are given for your child is making them even sicker! It is also hard when you are given a plan of what medical professionals want you to do, and you know that it is not working for your kid. Having to decide if it will be continued or not is a huge decision. It is stressful! No parent wants to harm their child, either by giving them something that ends up harming them or by not giving them something that will make them better! If only it were easier and medications were the same for everyone... However, that is not how it goes. Treatments are not a one size fits all kind of thing! What works for one child may not work for another. A dosage that works for one child may not work for another, and so on....
Parents, please listen to your instincts when it comes to your kids! If something is just not right, look into it! There have been a few times over the last few weeks where I had to go with what my intuition has said, and each time, it has been a crucial decision. Other than the diet change vs. medication decision (which we will have to wait for the end result for a bit after tests), they have all proven to be the right decision.
Moms, we are given 'mommy instincts' for a reason. Follow them!! This child grew inside of you and you know them better than anyone else. If you just KNOW that there is something wrong, follow up!
I guess that I just needed to get that out there. Take your children's health seriously and don't just do what you are told. Do your research and find out what is best for your family and try to keep them healthy. :)
Lots of love, health and happiness to all of you... and hopefully for us too... extra doses of health would be great right now. ;)
Extreme Hand Holding
As I was putting Norah to bed yesterday night, we settled in and began discussing what we would say in our prayers. We talked about some special people who are sick, and then I took a little leap and told her that our neighbour and a friend's father were both dying. I wasn't sure how she would handle it.
At first, she screeched 'They're DYING? Oh NOOOO!" After the initial shock wore off, we started talking, and the conversation was AMAZING! Oh, to see through child's eyes!
I explained to her that sometimes, when people get sick, they just can't get better anymore. I told her that they fall asleep when they die and they never wake up. We discussed how people get buried and then their bodies are put under the ground. She was very interactive and interested in our conversation, when she piped up to ask a question.
"So, mommy, is that when Jesus comes to hold their hand and fly through the sky?"
"Um... Wha-a-a-t?"
"Yeah, because He does that, you know."
"What??"
"Jesus holds their hands to fly in the sky.... you know, on the way to heaven."
"Oh, yes! Yes, He does do that."
"So is that when it happens?"
"Is what when it happens?"
"When they die and sleep under the ground?"
"Yes, that is kind of when it happens."
"You know why He does that.... Right, mommy?"
"No, Norah, why does He do it?"
"Because Jesus doesn't want anyone to be scared."
"Well, why would they be scared?"
"Because they think they are alone!! But do you know what?"
"What, Norah?"
"They aren't alone! Jesus comes to hold their hand and take them right up to heaven, so they are never alone. Jesus is right there with them!"
I'll admit. I really didn't know what to add to this conversation. She had me pretty speechless... It's these quiet times when we talk before bed that get seared into my brain and let me know that she is going to be able to provide great comfort to others throughout her lifetime.
I wonder if it is too much Peter Pan mixed with the natural spiritual insights of a toddler.... either way, I think she is onto something. What a beautiful way to paint a passing! Love her to pieces...
At first, she screeched 'They're DYING? Oh NOOOO!" After the initial shock wore off, we started talking, and the conversation was AMAZING! Oh, to see through child's eyes!
I explained to her that sometimes, when people get sick, they just can't get better anymore. I told her that they fall asleep when they die and they never wake up. We discussed how people get buried and then their bodies are put under the ground. She was very interactive and interested in our conversation, when she piped up to ask a question.
"So, mommy, is that when Jesus comes to hold their hand and fly through the sky?"
"Um... Wha-a-a-t?"
"Yeah, because He does that, you know."
"What??"
"Jesus holds their hands to fly in the sky.... you know, on the way to heaven."
"Oh, yes! Yes, He does do that."
"So is that when it happens?"
"Is what when it happens?"
"When they die and sleep under the ground?"
"Yes, that is kind of when it happens."
"You know why He does that.... Right, mommy?"
"No, Norah, why does He do it?"
"Because Jesus doesn't want anyone to be scared."
"Well, why would they be scared?"
"Because they think they are alone!! But do you know what?"
"What, Norah?"
"They aren't alone! Jesus comes to hold their hand and take them right up to heaven, so they are never alone. Jesus is right there with them!"
I'll admit. I really didn't know what to add to this conversation. She had me pretty speechless... It's these quiet times when we talk before bed that get seared into my brain and let me know that she is going to be able to provide great comfort to others throughout her lifetime.
I wonder if it is too much Peter Pan mixed with the natural spiritual insights of a toddler.... either way, I think she is onto something. What a beautiful way to paint a passing! Love her to pieces...
Monday, 16 September 2013
'Tis the Season To Be Busy!
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| Everett on our ice cream date |
Who would have thought that Everett would love NY cherry cheesecake ice cream as much as I do!?! He definitely has my taste buds! While we were out choosing a birthday present for my cousin's babies (yes, she has twins too!!), Everett and I received an invite to join two of my sisters for ice cream!! What a nice little afternoon! Everett was bobbing up and down in between bites, eager for his next taste! He LOVED it!! What a cutie... Love him!!
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| Norah showing off our last 'big bake!' |
Sorry for the picture quality on this one!!!
Norah and I have been taking up baking! She loves to help me add all of the ingredients and mix them together. She is becoming a pro at breaking eggs, too! (She does sometimes have a successful crack!).. I think one of her favourite things is when I break an egg, especially if it drops to the floor... She gets this little giggle and just laughs and laughs... I LOVE it! So refreshing.. I find it really funny that on days when I feel like I'm at my wit's end with the kids, if I make an effort to change it up and do an activity, that it somehow also calms ME!
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Norah riding a pony for the first time!
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On the weekend, my mom accompanied myself, Norah and Everett down to the Cottam Horse Show, which is hosted by the Cottam Rotary. I grew up in the small town of Cottam, which is between Windsor and Essex in Ontario, Canada, and I have NEVER been to the horseshow (so long as I can remember... maybe as a very young child??)... What an AMAZING event this was! Norah was able to have a pony ride (TWICE!!) and for FREE!! She loved it! The ladies that were taking her around were quite entertained by her. When asked her name, she told them that she was "Norah, the CowBOY"... and then proceeded to tell them that she already knew how to ride horses.. yes, she has quite the imagination.... I'll have to remember to tell her that hockey stick horses don't count! They had numerous vendors, barrel rides (barrels with wheels pulled by a lawn mower), and bouncy castles! Oh, and I almost forgot.... AND HORSES! Unfortunately, the weather was a bit dreary, so the turnout could have been better, but it worked out great for us, because we were able to check things out without huge crowds. This was such a fun day, and it has really encouraged me to make it out to more of our local festivals! In our area, there is almost one every weekend within an hour any direction. Little ones, like the horseshow, are truly a hidden gem that families need to get out and discover!Another thing that we did this past week was something that could truly define us as daring. We went on one day road trip into Toronto, which is approximately 3-4 hours away... depending on traffic, weather, and how fast my hubby drives. :S.... hehehe. :) The trip was wonderful! The was two purposes to going. It was my bff and her hubby's birthdays this month, and they are such blessings to us that I want to be sure to take them out for birthday dinner. I so wish that they lived closer, but, since they don't, I figure what better way to show them that we love them than to make the trek and take them out! Good company is always great!! Along with the birthday theme, I had also arranged to pick up some decorations that I had purchased from another twin mom in Ottawa for the boys' birthday parties. Toronto was the half way point, and we were lucky that she was able to have someone drive them that far so that we could complete the pick up. (And no, I am not giving away birthday secrets for their party just yet... although I will say that it will be PHENOMENAL!).. :) The trip was fantastic... the way home... not so much. :( It rained almost the whole way home, and then when we were about half way home, the 401 (which is the major highway down here) was shut down because of downed power lines... across both lanes... So, we ended up on a detour, which took us about an hour to move what would have been about 10 minutes on the highway....That was not fun... The trip was an overall success though, and I'd totally do it again... if the weather is going to be better! (also, it was SOOOOOO HOT that day!!)
Another issue that has kept me busy and lacking sleep the last week is that my little guy Andy has been a bit 'off'. We've been watching him and we did take him to the doctor's just to be sure that nothing is wrong. Likely just not feeling well because of teeth, but better safe than sorry..... he's still adorable as anything though. :) He missed out on the horse show, but he did make it to Toronto with us. He did great.. my little man. :)
Hope you enjoyed a glance into my life .... I think that most people's heads would spin if I told them what the next few weeks hold for me... so I won't.. but, you may just get another glance if I don't have the time to sit down and ponder anything inspirational to write.... so I guess my inspirational thought for this post would be that time with kids is the most important... even when you are busy, they still need to be involved. :)
Pictures above. L to R... Norah playing in the bouncy castle at the horse show, Being stuck in traffic... note the long lineup if you look closely, Andy not feeling well. :(
Monday, 9 September 2013
Plus One!
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| Magglio, our dog, and Walker, our kitten |
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| Walker letting Andy pet him |
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| Walker sleeping on Norah as she sleeps |
Making Memories
From left to right: Everett, Norah, Andy
As the summer is coming to a close, I really wanted to make sure that I had some great and somewhat posed pictures of the kids. To this date, I have no pictures up of the boys yet (except for their ultrasound pictures, which kind of don't count)....
It's time to get off of my butt and get some new pictures up on the wall!! I have a few projects that I am going to be completing as gifts that also need pictures, so it's time to do it up!
I made my first order off of www.shutterfly.com on Saturday, and I noticed in my inbox that my pictures are already being shipped!! Ah-mazing! I am so pleased with this service so far. If the pictures turn out great, then I will definitely be doing more business with them!
Wow, all of that just to get to this..... As I was going through my pictures and deciding which to print, I was having such a wonderful time looking back over all of the pictures that I have taken since the boys were born... (um, about 1000. :S)... Time has flown, but I am happy to say that I remember taking almost all of the pictures! So many people tell me that when they had their twins, life became such a blur. Yes, life is absolutely moving at a fast pace that I never thought had previously existed - BUT I think that the quality of life that you (insanely) maintain can really help in the memory department... and some sleep here and there helps as well.. :) A lot of people also say that their older child kind of becomes the 'forgotten' one, as their milestones and new experiences are swept under the rug. Thankfully, I don't think I have missed anything! (Then again, I could use a lot more sleep and a clean house... more than a fair trade though.. time with the kiddos is priceless!)
Especially at times when I know that life is crazy, I make sure to try to take extra pictures, just in case I don't remember that special time when Norah was so happy to help make cookies, Andy was so proud to stand freely, and Everett glowed while spitting his food out... Making memories is so important, even if they are reflected on later as life is so busy in the present. Having the time to slow down a little bit and sift through the pictures reminds me of how much I give to the kiddos on a daily basis and how committed I am to them - raising them, being there for them and giving them the best start in life that I am able to give them. Looking at these pictures solidifies the fact that these kids are having a great childhood and it kind of keeps things in perspective...
When the memory making starts slowing down (and the pictures stop flowing), it is time to reassess what is taking up our time... If it something that boils down to wasted time, then it is time to once again find something picture worthy.
Afterthought..... Down time is not considered wasted time, in my opinion.. Yes, you can probably overdo down time. I do not know many moms who take downtime enough though (myself included). Everyone just needs to sit and relax sometimes. Wasted time is different.. :)
Monday, 2 September 2013
Nine Month Slump
I've been expecting the boys to be little 'nightmare' babies lately, as they are, after all, nine months old.... At nine months, they should be sleeping horrible and cranky (or so I am told). They, however, seem to be doing fine. They are cutting teeth like champs and really not too fussy. They are hitting milestones and learning new skills every day. They are handling growth spurts amazingly! It's wonderful!
However, I am tired! I didn't know that nine months was going to hit me like a ton of bricks! I don't know if it is the months upon months of broken sleep (because yes, I do get sleep - more than many people with just one baby!). Or maybe it is the extras that I keep adding to my calendar and life. Either way, people keep telling me that I make it look 'easy', but it isn't easy. It is tiring - mostly, it is mentally tiring!
Don't get me wrong, life is good. The kids are good. I love being a mom. At nine months in, I feel like I am floundering a bit. At this point, many women are preparing for their 'big return' to the working world. As a former 'workaholic', I often thrive off of being home and accomplishing a lot. Daily tasks and the 'extras' are great; however, I feel like I have constant cabin fever. I feel like I need to get out and be 'me.'
Even more than just being 'me', I feel like I need to establish who I am going to be outside of these four walls again. I love being a mom. Being a mom is awesome, but I look forward and see when all the kids are gone. Will I recognize who is looking back in the mirror?
Many things that I enjoy have taken a second seat, and that is fine. A lot of new things are entering the picture and filling voids where other things have been put on the backburner. However, sometimes, I want the things on the backburner to be up front again... if you know what I mean... I've taken on some extras outside of the house lately (which leads to less late nights for typing on here). I need to find a balance though. When will things balance out?
I know that a lot of this is 'feelings', but sometimes feelings are hard to separate from reality. When does a feeling become a valid concern? Maybe cabin fever makes me think to much?
Who knew that the boys turning nine months would be tougher on me? Who knew that it might be my big growth spurt?
However, I am tired! I didn't know that nine months was going to hit me like a ton of bricks! I don't know if it is the months upon months of broken sleep (because yes, I do get sleep - more than many people with just one baby!). Or maybe it is the extras that I keep adding to my calendar and life. Either way, people keep telling me that I make it look 'easy', but it isn't easy. It is tiring - mostly, it is mentally tiring!
Don't get me wrong, life is good. The kids are good. I love being a mom. At nine months in, I feel like I am floundering a bit. At this point, many women are preparing for their 'big return' to the working world. As a former 'workaholic', I often thrive off of being home and accomplishing a lot. Daily tasks and the 'extras' are great; however, I feel like I have constant cabin fever. I feel like I need to get out and be 'me.'
Even more than just being 'me', I feel like I need to establish who I am going to be outside of these four walls again. I love being a mom. Being a mom is awesome, but I look forward and see when all the kids are gone. Will I recognize who is looking back in the mirror?
Many things that I enjoy have taken a second seat, and that is fine. A lot of new things are entering the picture and filling voids where other things have been put on the backburner. However, sometimes, I want the things on the backburner to be up front again... if you know what I mean... I've taken on some extras outside of the house lately (which leads to less late nights for typing on here). I need to find a balance though. When will things balance out?
I know that a lot of this is 'feelings', but sometimes feelings are hard to separate from reality. When does a feeling become a valid concern? Maybe cabin fever makes me think to much?
Who knew that the boys turning nine months would be tougher on me? Who knew that it might be my big growth spurt?
Wednesday, 28 August 2013
The Whirlwind of Life
So much to write... so little time... I need sleep... so how's about an update as to what is going on and why I have not been writing as much as I'd like to write!!
When I originally named this blog, I had tried to pick a name that would capture the 'craziness' that we call our lives. Times have changed a bit, but life is still crazy. I kind of like my blog's title, so I am going to keep it the same. :)
We are entering the busiest time of year for our family. Birthday parties and Christmas are in the near future! Fun times for a momma who loves to plan parties!
Our daughter's birthday party play date was two days ago, and it went AMAZING!! Little kids and smiles make me so pleased with the end result! I am busy starting to prepare for the boys' birthday bash. I have the theme picked, decorations on their way, and some of the menu planned. I can't wait!
There is so much going on right now, and I realized the other night that I haven't been on here writing as much. :( This makes me sad. I think about it often, but, honestly, I need to sleep more right now! I am TIRED!!! Life is catching up to me!
Today, the boys had their nine month checkup, and they are so healthy and happy! They surprisingly weighed in at the exact same weight of 19lbs4oz and they measured up at 29 inches! Can't get more identical for measurements! :) They are growing like weeds and getting around really quickly!
Life is great! Good night!
When I originally named this blog, I had tried to pick a name that would capture the 'craziness' that we call our lives. Times have changed a bit, but life is still crazy. I kind of like my blog's title, so I am going to keep it the same. :)
We are entering the busiest time of year for our family. Birthday parties and Christmas are in the near future! Fun times for a momma who loves to plan parties!
Our daughter's birthday party play date was two days ago, and it went AMAZING!! Little kids and smiles make me so pleased with the end result! I am busy starting to prepare for the boys' birthday bash. I have the theme picked, decorations on their way, and some of the menu planned. I can't wait!
There is so much going on right now, and I realized the other night that I haven't been on here writing as much. :( This makes me sad. I think about it often, but, honestly, I need to sleep more right now! I am TIRED!!! Life is catching up to me!
Today, the boys had their nine month checkup, and they are so healthy and happy! They surprisingly weighed in at the exact same weight of 19lbs4oz and they measured up at 29 inches! Can't get more identical for measurements! :) They are growing like weeds and getting around really quickly!
Life is great! Good night!
Thursday, 22 August 2013
Party Planning!
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| Our Tutu Party Favours |
Our daughter's birthday is on Sunday, so we are planning a party for her on Monday with some of her playmates! I LOVE planning events, and I have a few other events up my sleeve at the moment (READERS BEWARE!). This is the first one, and this is just a sneak peek, as I will be blogging about this again soon.. hopefully adding a whole bunch of pictures!!!
Yesterday, my friend T and my MIL came over and helped to make some of the favours for the girls that attend. They will all be taking home a tutu! :) So much fun! My MIL brought us all of the supplies and we made five AWESOME tutus! We decided that our daughter would be giving at her party, instead of getting. Everytime anything with regards to birthdays comes up on tv or in a book, a lot of the focus is on receiving gifts. So, we decided that we would shift things around a bit, and she would be doing a lot of the giving.. :) (The girls will be sporting a tutu and necklace, and the boys will be sporting fireman hats and clip on ties for our 'tea' party - all that they get to take home with them!!!)
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| Homemade is still the way to do it! |
To me, the special handmade touch adds so much to 'gifts'. Not only is a one-of-a-kind item, it also provides a great time to do something with the kids. Helping them to be creative and be able to execute their own ideas for things is so important!
BTW our daughter informed me last night that she would rather dress as a pirate for her party than wear a tutu... so I guess we will see how that turns out. :)
Monday, 19 August 2013
9 Months Old... and Oh How Things Have Changed!
It is so hard to believe that my boys are nine months old today! It literally feels like yesterday that they were born! Although a lot of the last nine months have been sleep deprived, I am excited to say that I can remember a lot since their birth and have thoroughly enjoyed parenting these rambunctious little boys so far. :)
I remember when they were both sharing a bassinette and they had extra room! I remember when they fit into premie clothes (they were born 6lbs and 6lbs1.5oz, so they didn't wear premie for longer than a week). Oh, how times have changed! Where did my little boys go!?! They are now crawling, standing, taking assisted steps, eating food (and loving it!), and playing together and with their sister! I wish I could keep them tiny forever, but that just isn't how things go.
I think that life is pretty funny. Things have changed so much since I was pregnant with them and had them, and I sometimes just have to sit there and shake my head at myself. Everything is working amazing and days are consistently less stressful (although I think that with our daughter we had a case of the Terrific Twos and are entering the Terrible Threes - I'll save that for another post though). So many things have changed and they are shaping who I am and who our family is. It is wonderful.
BEFORE BIRTH (BB): I hope that I can nurse these boys.
AFTER BIRTH (AB): I am just going to nurse these boys until 6 months..... I am just going to nurse these boys until 9 months.
NOW: I am going to nurse these boys until they self-wean... why not!?! All the hard work is done. Now is the easy time!
*If you aren't into extended breastfeeding, then too bad. It is the best that I can give my kids, and it is not too bad for the waistline... although I have to admit that the midnight snacks so that I am not starving through the night while nursing probably counter any weight advantage that nursing gives me!
BB: Just slice me open, I do not want to deal with the stress of delivery.
AB: Well, that went smoothly... Would have loved more than 2 minutes between their arrivals! (My OB was so right about going for a natural delivery, by the way. It went amazingly!)
NOW: Ya, I'd do that again. Easy, peasy!
*I realize that not everyone has smooth and easy labour and deliveries. We made the decision that was best for us, and, by the advice of my OB, we felt that I would be fine and that, if they babies were healthy, they would be fine as well. We all did great and they boys had no issues, even though they were 3.5 weeks early. No time in a NICU and no concerns! What a blessing!
BB: While you are doing my C-Section, tie my tubes. There is no way that I want more kids after this!
AB: <Before even leaving the hospital> I could do this again. I want more kids.
NOW: I want one more.... Ok, maybe two if we wait long enough to have the next one.
*My daughter told me yesterday that I was going to have three babies next time... um, scary.. very scary.. considering she was telling me I was going to have twins this last time... and I did. Large families do not scare me; however, fitting a larger family into this house does.
BB: I am going to need help!
AB: I've got this...
NOW: Still pretty much got this, but appreciate any help I can get. :)
*See my previous 'Supermom' post. :)
One thing that I find absolutely amazing is how BIG my heart has become. I had often wondered how I would be able to share my love with all of my kids. It is so true that your heart expands and you love each child completely and differently, yet you love them all the same as you kids. It is craziness that is so hard to explain. I love my kids. I love being their mom and watching them grow. It is a love that I never knew existed before having children.
I guess the bottom line is that I love my kids.... and that is something that will never change. :)
I remember when they were both sharing a bassinette and they had extra room! I remember when they fit into premie clothes (they were born 6lbs and 6lbs1.5oz, so they didn't wear premie for longer than a week). Oh, how times have changed! Where did my little boys go!?! They are now crawling, standing, taking assisted steps, eating food (and loving it!), and playing together and with their sister! I wish I could keep them tiny forever, but that just isn't how things go.
I think that life is pretty funny. Things have changed so much since I was pregnant with them and had them, and I sometimes just have to sit there and shake my head at myself. Everything is working amazing and days are consistently less stressful (although I think that with our daughter we had a case of the Terrific Twos and are entering the Terrible Threes - I'll save that for another post though). So many things have changed and they are shaping who I am and who our family is. It is wonderful.
BEFORE BIRTH (BB): I hope that I can nurse these boys.
AFTER BIRTH (AB): I am just going to nurse these boys until 6 months..... I am just going to nurse these boys until 9 months.
NOW: I am going to nurse these boys until they self-wean... why not!?! All the hard work is done. Now is the easy time!
*If you aren't into extended breastfeeding, then too bad. It is the best that I can give my kids, and it is not too bad for the waistline... although I have to admit that the midnight snacks so that I am not starving through the night while nursing probably counter any weight advantage that nursing gives me!
BB: Just slice me open, I do not want to deal with the stress of delivery.
AB: Well, that went smoothly... Would have loved more than 2 minutes between their arrivals! (My OB was so right about going for a natural delivery, by the way. It went amazingly!)
NOW: Ya, I'd do that again. Easy, peasy!
*I realize that not everyone has smooth and easy labour and deliveries. We made the decision that was best for us, and, by the advice of my OB, we felt that I would be fine and that, if they babies were healthy, they would be fine as well. We all did great and they boys had no issues, even though they were 3.5 weeks early. No time in a NICU and no concerns! What a blessing!
BB: While you are doing my C-Section, tie my tubes. There is no way that I want more kids after this!
AB: <Before even leaving the hospital> I could do this again. I want more kids.
NOW: I want one more.... Ok, maybe two if we wait long enough to have the next one.
*My daughter told me yesterday that I was going to have three babies next time... um, scary.. very scary.. considering she was telling me I was going to have twins this last time... and I did. Large families do not scare me; however, fitting a larger family into this house does.
BB: I am going to need help!
AB: I've got this...
NOW: Still pretty much got this, but appreciate any help I can get. :)
*See my previous 'Supermom' post. :)
One thing that I find absolutely amazing is how BIG my heart has become. I had often wondered how I would be able to share my love with all of my kids. It is so true that your heart expands and you love each child completely and differently, yet you love them all the same as you kids. It is craziness that is so hard to explain. I love my kids. I love being their mom and watching them grow. It is a love that I never knew existed before having children.
I guess the bottom line is that I love my kids.... and that is something that will never change. :)
Sunday, 11 August 2013
The Stages of Sleep Deprivation
I have been blessed with amazingly awesome children. They eat, sleep and poop like pros, which is all that I can ask for at their ages! That said, I have done 100% of the night feedings for the twins. So, considering I slept approximately 4 hours a night the two weeks before they were born and they are eight and a half months, I am going on nine months now of sleeping, on average, about 4-5 hours of sleep... From someone who cherishes a solid eight hours and could nap anytime previous to having kids, this is not the easiest thing to deal with.
I have noticed a distinct pattern developing whenever I get to my breaking point of 'NEED SLEEP NOW.' It repeats itself over and over, and I must say that it is kind of entertaining.. Each stage can last for a number of days (at least for myself), and the result always ends up the same.. going through all the stages over and over.. back to stage 1.
Stage 1 - Just feeling tired.
Last night, I just didn't get enough sleep. I feel kind of sluggish. A nap would be awesome.
Stage 2 - What (yawn) was that again?
Last night, I just didn't get enough sleep. I keep yawning, and that interrupts life a little bit. I yawn, which makes others yawn. Now the dog is yawning. Maybe I should make an effort to get a nap today. Nah, it's not that bad.
Stage 3 - The drinking starts....
Last night, I must have been partying instead of sleeping, because my eyes are so red and watery! Nope! Just didn't really get any sleep. I can still see straight, so, obviously, a nap isn't necessary. Maybe, if the opportunity presents itself, I will take one.
Stage 4 - My brain is about to explode.
Last night.... wait a minute as I apply pressure.... I didn't get that much...... more pressure.... sleep.. Ok, it's passed... These headaches come and go, so nothing worth worrying about. Probably should really start to try to get a nap. Maybe I'll try to get the kids down at the same time so I can rest.
Stage 5 - The twitch.....
Last night, I don't think I slept at all. Well, I know that I did, but, man, I need to get back in bed. Hey, why are you in the fridge? You already have a milk cup? <Eye twitch> Why are you guys crying? <Eye twitch> Please, wear your pants outside! <Eye twitch> Ok, I concede, I officially need sleep. Right now.
Now, this is when I know that I have reached the end of my sleep deprived state. When I reach this point, there is no question. I WILL be falling asleep that night or the next. I will not have a choice. Head will hit pillow and I will be out. The boys will have to cry a bit harder to wake me up if needed. It isn't often that I hit the twitch stage anymore, as I have realized that developing an eye twitch because of being tired is probably not a very healthy habit to keep.
On the flip side, can't eye twitches be intimidating? I will have to keep that in mind in case I need to deal with anything in the future.. :D Have a good night!
I have noticed a distinct pattern developing whenever I get to my breaking point of 'NEED SLEEP NOW.' It repeats itself over and over, and I must say that it is kind of entertaining.. Each stage can last for a number of days (at least for myself), and the result always ends up the same.. going through all the stages over and over.. back to stage 1.
Stage 1 - Just feeling tired.
Last night, I just didn't get enough sleep. I feel kind of sluggish. A nap would be awesome.
Stage 2 - What (yawn) was that again?
Last night, I just didn't get enough sleep. I keep yawning, and that interrupts life a little bit. I yawn, which makes others yawn. Now the dog is yawning. Maybe I should make an effort to get a nap today. Nah, it's not that bad.
Stage 3 - The drinking starts....
Last night, I must have been partying instead of sleeping, because my eyes are so red and watery! Nope! Just didn't really get any sleep. I can still see straight, so, obviously, a nap isn't necessary. Maybe, if the opportunity presents itself, I will take one.
Stage 4 - My brain is about to explode.
Last night.... wait a minute as I apply pressure.... I didn't get that much...... more pressure.... sleep.. Ok, it's passed... These headaches come and go, so nothing worth worrying about. Probably should really start to try to get a nap. Maybe I'll try to get the kids down at the same time so I can rest.
Stage 5 - The twitch.....
Last night, I don't think I slept at all. Well, I know that I did, but, man, I need to get back in bed. Hey, why are you in the fridge? You already have a milk cup? <Eye twitch> Why are you guys crying? <Eye twitch> Please, wear your pants outside! <Eye twitch> Ok, I concede, I officially need sleep. Right now.
Now, this is when I know that I have reached the end of my sleep deprived state. When I reach this point, there is no question. I WILL be falling asleep that night or the next. I will not have a choice. Head will hit pillow and I will be out. The boys will have to cry a bit harder to wake me up if needed. It isn't often that I hit the twitch stage anymore, as I have realized that developing an eye twitch because of being tired is probably not a very healthy habit to keep.
On the flip side, can't eye twitches be intimidating? I will have to keep that in mind in case I need to deal with anything in the future.. :D Have a good night!
INSMOMNIA
Many people have noticed that I am a night owl, or, rather, that I am often posting online at nighttime. Nighttime is when I respond to emails, play some online games, and, maybe, if I am REALLY lucky, read a book. All of this can be done while nursing the boys or in between feeds. It is not because I love to be awake through the night. It is because I suffer from (what I would like to call) INSMOMNIA.
Any mother can tell you that, after having a baby, sleep changes. It isn't simply just sleep anymore. If you aren't watching the clock for the first bit wondering about a feed, then your brain just doesn't want to shut off. I have spoken to many other moms, who have also found the same thing to be true. The kids are in bed. The house is quiet. Now, it is time to sleep... Oh, wait... that just doesn't happen.
As a person who really, REALLY loves sleep, trust me when I say that I truly would love to be sleeping right now. However, I have resigned myself to the fact that I need some 'me' time before I can actually fall asleep. The boys are at the stage where I can flit about the house doing housework, showering or just relaxing having no child to care for while they are asleep. It is awesome. However, when that happens, I still find that I can go to bed and it takes HOURS to fall asleep. So tired, yet sleep will not come!
This is exactly where reconnecting with my inner self (ME!!!) comes into play. When I can just relax and delve into something that I enjoy before I try to sleep (for example, writing a post on here), then I can lay down and I will guarantee that I will sleep well (and snore, because, apparently, I snore when I am sleeping really deeply). It really isn't that being a mom isn't fulfilling, but, rather, that my mind needs to be reminded that I AM A PERSON TOO.. Not just a mom. Not just a cook. Not just a maid. Not anything else at times other than an individual who wants and needs to sit down and do nothing except what I want to do. Everyone deserves that. It is a basic need. Enjoyment in life. (Yes, I enjoy my kids, but that is totally different than what I am talking about.)
I don't know that insmomnia can be a clinical diagnosis, but I do know that it exists. For me, just remembering that I have a brain outside of mommyhood is cure enough. Brains are pretty cool, after all. The more that they are exercised, the more they serve us well. Believe me, I need my brain to keep up on the service, because the boys have just started to crawl, and I am sure that will be another post altogether soon enough. :)
Any mother can tell you that, after having a baby, sleep changes. It isn't simply just sleep anymore. If you aren't watching the clock for the first bit wondering about a feed, then your brain just doesn't want to shut off. I have spoken to many other moms, who have also found the same thing to be true. The kids are in bed. The house is quiet. Now, it is time to sleep... Oh, wait... that just doesn't happen.
As a person who really, REALLY loves sleep, trust me when I say that I truly would love to be sleeping right now. However, I have resigned myself to the fact that I need some 'me' time before I can actually fall asleep. The boys are at the stage where I can flit about the house doing housework, showering or just relaxing having no child to care for while they are asleep. It is awesome. However, when that happens, I still find that I can go to bed and it takes HOURS to fall asleep. So tired, yet sleep will not come!
This is exactly where reconnecting with my inner self (ME!!!) comes into play. When I can just relax and delve into something that I enjoy before I try to sleep (for example, writing a post on here), then I can lay down and I will guarantee that I will sleep well (and snore, because, apparently, I snore when I am sleeping really deeply). It really isn't that being a mom isn't fulfilling, but, rather, that my mind needs to be reminded that I AM A PERSON TOO.. Not just a mom. Not just a cook. Not just a maid. Not anything else at times other than an individual who wants and needs to sit down and do nothing except what I want to do. Everyone deserves that. It is a basic need. Enjoyment in life. (Yes, I enjoy my kids, but that is totally different than what I am talking about.)
I don't know that insmomnia can be a clinical diagnosis, but I do know that it exists. For me, just remembering that I have a brain outside of mommyhood is cure enough. Brains are pretty cool, after all. The more that they are exercised, the more they serve us well. Believe me, I need my brain to keep up on the service, because the boys have just started to crawl, and I am sure that will be another post altogether soon enough. :)
Tuesday, 6 August 2013
The Pecking Order
Hi All! Hope this doesn't ruffle feathers. I am not saying that any kind of parenting style is bad. I am simply stating what works best for me and my family. No hate being dished out. :D Have fun reading!
For a long time, I wondered to what 'parenting group' I actually fit. What described me as a parent? You watch TV on any given day and they have so many experts with so many different techniques describing the right and wrong ways to approach parenting. They all have titles, yet so many of them are similar. There are some that are different, but they are all labelled regardless. Where am I on the big list of parenting styles? What if I don't really fit into any of the categories? If my decisions leave me low on the pecking order of parenting styles, will my children end up being less productive and happy as adults? Let's face it. The decisions that we make for our little ones now can have a lasting effect.
I had often referred to our parenting style as an 'on demand' parenting style, where the baby led the way with what it needed in regards to food, sleep, and comfort. Our life largely consists of meeting the children's needs and encouraging them to grow healthily and happily. How do the experts even come up with names for parenting styles when there are so many variables? Do any of them make you a good or bad parent?
A few of the key factors that define us as parents are things that many people will never understand, unless they have practiced it themselves. What we do works wonderfully in our family, and our children are happy and content (most of the time... let's be honest, no one is content and happy 100% if the time). What we do, however, may not work for others. Each baby is different. Each parent is different. It is all about finding the happy place for everyone and going with the flow... unless you are a stuck up parent who needs to have it your way... and, in that case, have fun with that. :) (Personally, I find it counterproductive to fight against one's natural clock.)
I have not necessarily wanted to be included in the 'granola' parenting group. Yes, we co-sleep with the kids and do not let them cry it out. Yes, I babywear on occasion (especially if I am about to cry it out!). Yes, I plan to do extended breastfeeding with the boys (although if they self-wean, I would not be broken hearted at this point). I love all of these things, and I know that my kids benefit from all of these things, but there are things that some extreme 'crunchy' moms do that make me not want to be categorized as such. Like, for instance, I do vaccinate my children. I do believe that epidurals are not harmful in the labour and delivery process. The list can go on and on.
I don't think I can fit into the more 'strict' parenting styles either (I am trying to think of a word other than strict for the description, but nothing good comes to mind - structured, forced, scheduled... if I think of it, I will change it). My kids do not have set bedtimes. They don't have set meals. They wake and eat as they please, and, surprisingly, they are often all on the same, or similar, schedule. I know that many moms, especially work out of the home moms and other moms of twins, need set schedules and structure in their days just to make it. However, that seems to complicate my day more. For example, I had a great idea the other day. Since one baby was sleeping, I would just nurse the other to sleep as well. Hahahaha. He had other plans. After trying for about almost an hour to nurse and snuggle him to sleep, he was wide awake still - and I was frustrated. Why on earth would I stress myself out over fighting with their natural clocks.
Everything has it's risks and benefits. Raising children with or without religion (choose wisely on this one, as sometimes, what is taught is not always what you think). Raising children with or without consequences (... for the record, my kids are not too good to hear the word 'NO' or the phrase 'you are being BAD!'. I have a two year old with very intact self-esteem to prove that this does not harm their little egos!). Putting children into single language or multi-language schools (Better options for future employment, but English learning may suffer slightly.). Going back to work while the kids are young (Hey, sometimes staying at home is not an option or a desire!). .... Everything we choose for our children will somehow shape who they are as adults. I don't think it is possible to sum up all decisions and fit any parent into a particular category.
I have finally found a parenting style that I almost completely fit! It is referred to at the Wait It Out method of parenting. It is summed up as a parenting style that is led by the child's own development, not by our schedules, not by what we or the world think should be happening at that point in life. Let's be real here. You wake up sometimes at night and want a drink. You are an adult. Why the heck can't I expect the same of my babies? When they are at the point where they do not need to wake up at night, then they won't. Simple as that. If they feel the need to snuggle up at night, then they do. They are remarkably independent and social babies. If you have never heard of the phrase "Wait It Out", I highly suggest looking it up. I am so happy we are WIO parents, as I really know that this is giving our kids what they need on a daily (and even by the minute) basis.
Titles really don't mean that much to me. Fitting into a category once in a blue moon might make conversation easier sometimes when child-rearing is the topic. It's not all in a name. It's in your day to day interactions with your children. You kids will be the testament of if your parenting style worked or not. The pecking order of parenting styles doesn't really have one method listed as better than another. It is usually just when discussing things with other parents that the claws can come out and the pecking order is established. It is kind of sad actually. All of us just want to have happy families, so let's leave the pecking order out of it.
For a long time, I wondered to what 'parenting group' I actually fit. What described me as a parent? You watch TV on any given day and they have so many experts with so many different techniques describing the right and wrong ways to approach parenting. They all have titles, yet so many of them are similar. There are some that are different, but they are all labelled regardless. Where am I on the big list of parenting styles? What if I don't really fit into any of the categories? If my decisions leave me low on the pecking order of parenting styles, will my children end up being less productive and happy as adults? Let's face it. The decisions that we make for our little ones now can have a lasting effect.
I had often referred to our parenting style as an 'on demand' parenting style, where the baby led the way with what it needed in regards to food, sleep, and comfort. Our life largely consists of meeting the children's needs and encouraging them to grow healthily and happily. How do the experts even come up with names for parenting styles when there are so many variables? Do any of them make you a good or bad parent?
A few of the key factors that define us as parents are things that many people will never understand, unless they have practiced it themselves. What we do works wonderfully in our family, and our children are happy and content (most of the time... let's be honest, no one is content and happy 100% if the time). What we do, however, may not work for others. Each baby is different. Each parent is different. It is all about finding the happy place for everyone and going with the flow... unless you are a stuck up parent who needs to have it your way... and, in that case, have fun with that. :) (Personally, I find it counterproductive to fight against one's natural clock.)
I have not necessarily wanted to be included in the 'granola' parenting group. Yes, we co-sleep with the kids and do not let them cry it out. Yes, I babywear on occasion (especially if I am about to cry it out!). Yes, I plan to do extended breastfeeding with the boys (although if they self-wean, I would not be broken hearted at this point). I love all of these things, and I know that my kids benefit from all of these things, but there are things that some extreme 'crunchy' moms do that make me not want to be categorized as such. Like, for instance, I do vaccinate my children. I do believe that epidurals are not harmful in the labour and delivery process. The list can go on and on.
I don't think I can fit into the more 'strict' parenting styles either (I am trying to think of a word other than strict for the description, but nothing good comes to mind - structured, forced, scheduled... if I think of it, I will change it). My kids do not have set bedtimes. They don't have set meals. They wake and eat as they please, and, surprisingly, they are often all on the same, or similar, schedule. I know that many moms, especially work out of the home moms and other moms of twins, need set schedules and structure in their days just to make it. However, that seems to complicate my day more. For example, I had a great idea the other day. Since one baby was sleeping, I would just nurse the other to sleep as well. Hahahaha. He had other plans. After trying for about almost an hour to nurse and snuggle him to sleep, he was wide awake still - and I was frustrated. Why on earth would I stress myself out over fighting with their natural clocks.
Everything has it's risks and benefits. Raising children with or without religion (choose wisely on this one, as sometimes, what is taught is not always what you think). Raising children with or without consequences (... for the record, my kids are not too good to hear the word 'NO' or the phrase 'you are being BAD!'. I have a two year old with very intact self-esteem to prove that this does not harm their little egos!). Putting children into single language or multi-language schools (Better options for future employment, but English learning may suffer slightly.). Going back to work while the kids are young (Hey, sometimes staying at home is not an option or a desire!). .... Everything we choose for our children will somehow shape who they are as adults. I don't think it is possible to sum up all decisions and fit any parent into a particular category.
I have finally found a parenting style that I almost completely fit! It is referred to at the Wait It Out method of parenting. It is summed up as a parenting style that is led by the child's own development, not by our schedules, not by what we or the world think should be happening at that point in life. Let's be real here. You wake up sometimes at night and want a drink. You are an adult. Why the heck can't I expect the same of my babies? When they are at the point where they do not need to wake up at night, then they won't. Simple as that. If they feel the need to snuggle up at night, then they do. They are remarkably independent and social babies. If you have never heard of the phrase "Wait It Out", I highly suggest looking it up. I am so happy we are WIO parents, as I really know that this is giving our kids what they need on a daily (and even by the minute) basis.
Titles really don't mean that much to me. Fitting into a category once in a blue moon might make conversation easier sometimes when child-rearing is the topic. It's not all in a name. It's in your day to day interactions with your children. You kids will be the testament of if your parenting style worked or not. The pecking order of parenting styles doesn't really have one method listed as better than another. It is usually just when discussing things with other parents that the claws can come out and the pecking order is established. It is kind of sad actually. All of us just want to have happy families, so let's leave the pecking order out of it.
Saturday, 3 August 2013
Born to Compete
As any parent can tell you, as soon as you have kids, the competition begins. Will your child start walking before your friend's child did? Will their child start talking before yours? The list of milestones and accomplishments is endless, as is the comparison of one child to another. There can be a lot of joy shared when you aren't comparing one child to another, but instead enjoying the children collectively growing up and learning new skills. Swapping stories of what is new with children is a great way for parents to bond.
There are times, however, when it can be frustrating to have your children always being compared to one another. As you will have read by now, we have identical twin boys, who are currently about 8 1/2 months old. They are a pleasure. As identical as they are, they are still their own individual and they do things on their own time. This does not make one slower and one faster. It simply means that everybody, regardless of DNA, is different. I have maintained from before they were born that they were their own person, just in a set. They get to share life with each other, which is a gift.
Lately, I am starting to wonder if the constant comparisons will be more of a curse than a gift. Two minutes apart at birth, yet, at times, so different in development.
Both babies started teething at the same time. Baby A's bottom two teeth broke through two week earlier than Baby B's did, however, Baby B was able to chew and swallow food about two weeks before Baby A. (So, apparently Baby B is slow to get teeth, and Baby A is slow to learn to chew.)
Baby A is very active and loves to be on the go. He has a sense of humour and loves to make people laugh. Baby B loves to study things. He has been saying 'Mama' when he needs me since about 6 months. He is active, too, but Baby A could run circles around him most days. (So apparently, Baby B is a genius, and Baby A is 'normal'.)
Both boys are amazing, yet different. I sometimes find myself wondering, almost to the point of worrying, if things aren't the same. Baby B is a hearty eater, as is Baby A, but Baby A can go days with eating less and be completely content. If I had one baby at a time, I would not feel like I am (or anyone else is) scrutinizing every little detail of their day. I work hard to make sure that they are treated the same and are given all that they need, and happy and healthy babies are the result.
Most days, I wouldn't think twice about differences between the boys.... and then, I go out in public. The questions that I am asked, which I am sure are well-intended, can sometimes stick with me. People's opinions of what 'should be' with twins versus reality can be hilarious and disturbing.
"Which one wakes more through the night?" (Hmmm, obviously he is the more cranky one... I always answer this with 'they both wake up. They are babies and I expect it at this age.')
"Which one cries more?"(Hmmmm, they are babies and they both cry at times??)
"Which one is bigger?" (Really??? They fluctuate back and forth. Look at them and try to tell for yourself! They have always been within 8oz of each other! Also, if I answer this question more correctly, then I am asked why one isn't keeping up with the other.. They are both healthy and not overweight or underweight! Why does it matter!?!)
I think a big part of what bugs me is that people are always trying to distinguish one as having a positive characteristic versus a negative one, and I try so hard not to view one baby as hard or easy against the other. Sure, they have their moments, but they are babies. I don't know any adults who never have a bad day, so why would I give one child up as the 'bad' one versus the 'good' one?
I often feel like people don't enjoy their accomplishments, as they then concern themselves with why the other has not reached that same milestone. Seriously, people, it is not that hard. Twins or not, all babies are different and special. Let's just be happy that they are happy and healthy and be excited that they are growing and learning all the time. :)
Hahaha, rant over. :) (This is not aimed at anyone in particular, and especially not at family members. It is something that has been bugging me, as people that I do not know sometimes leave a horrible impression of what they think should be going on in the boys' development. People need to keep their opinions to themselves.... or else posts like this happen! :D)
There are times, however, when it can be frustrating to have your children always being compared to one another. As you will have read by now, we have identical twin boys, who are currently about 8 1/2 months old. They are a pleasure. As identical as they are, they are still their own individual and they do things on their own time. This does not make one slower and one faster. It simply means that everybody, regardless of DNA, is different. I have maintained from before they were born that they were their own person, just in a set. They get to share life with each other, which is a gift.
Lately, I am starting to wonder if the constant comparisons will be more of a curse than a gift. Two minutes apart at birth, yet, at times, so different in development.
Both babies started teething at the same time. Baby A's bottom two teeth broke through two week earlier than Baby B's did, however, Baby B was able to chew and swallow food about two weeks before Baby A. (So, apparently Baby B is slow to get teeth, and Baby A is slow to learn to chew.)
Baby A is very active and loves to be on the go. He has a sense of humour and loves to make people laugh. Baby B loves to study things. He has been saying 'Mama' when he needs me since about 6 months. He is active, too, but Baby A could run circles around him most days. (So apparently, Baby B is a genius, and Baby A is 'normal'.)
Both boys are amazing, yet different. I sometimes find myself wondering, almost to the point of worrying, if things aren't the same. Baby B is a hearty eater, as is Baby A, but Baby A can go days with eating less and be completely content. If I had one baby at a time, I would not feel like I am (or anyone else is) scrutinizing every little detail of their day. I work hard to make sure that they are treated the same and are given all that they need, and happy and healthy babies are the result.
Most days, I wouldn't think twice about differences between the boys.... and then, I go out in public. The questions that I am asked, which I am sure are well-intended, can sometimes stick with me. People's opinions of what 'should be' with twins versus reality can be hilarious and disturbing.
"Which one wakes more through the night?" (Hmmm, obviously he is the more cranky one... I always answer this with 'they both wake up. They are babies and I expect it at this age.')
"Which one cries more?"(Hmmmm, they are babies and they both cry at times??)
"Which one is bigger?" (Really??? They fluctuate back and forth. Look at them and try to tell for yourself! They have always been within 8oz of each other! Also, if I answer this question more correctly, then I am asked why one isn't keeping up with the other.. They are both healthy and not overweight or underweight! Why does it matter!?!)
I think a big part of what bugs me is that people are always trying to distinguish one as having a positive characteristic versus a negative one, and I try so hard not to view one baby as hard or easy against the other. Sure, they have their moments, but they are babies. I don't know any adults who never have a bad day, so why would I give one child up as the 'bad' one versus the 'good' one?
I often feel like people don't enjoy their accomplishments, as they then concern themselves with why the other has not reached that same milestone. Seriously, people, it is not that hard. Twins or not, all babies are different and special. Let's just be happy that they are happy and healthy and be excited that they are growing and learning all the time. :)
Hahaha, rant over. :) (This is not aimed at anyone in particular, and especially not at family members. It is something that has been bugging me, as people that I do not know sometimes leave a horrible impression of what they think should be going on in the boys' development. People need to keep their opinions to themselves.... or else posts like this happen! :D)
Monday, 29 July 2013
Where My Heart Is
I learned the true meaning of the phrase "Home is where the heart is" today.
My husband and I have been debating on purchasing a business for the last week or so. The price is right. It is a field of work that I am comfortable and have experience doing. We would be able to handle it financially with some added income after all of the expenses. Not a bad looking option for sure. Our minds were pretty made up that, if we could arrange a few things, we were going to go ahead with it.
Another debate that we have been having on and off lately is if I can or will return to work when my maternity leave is done. The costs of childcare would require me to work full time. So do I take the plunge? Do I try to get back into the workforce and add some extra into our household from a financial prospective? Do I just try to 'pawn off' the kids to family so I can at least work a little bit? Do I just stay home with the kiddos?
Ugh. Decisions, decisions, decisions... Decisions have never been my strong point.
Then, breakfast happened. We got the boys into their highchairs and I started giving them their fruit and toast. It HIT me. Parenting these kids is so important to me. This is where I need to be. I am being completely selfish with my kids. I want to be the one to see their firsts. I want to feed them breakfast in the morning. I want to see how they are when they wake up. I want to raise them and not watch from afar as I work my butt off.
I've never felt so strongly about my role as a parent until this morning. Of course, I have ideas and opinions about parenting, and I have always said that I wanted to be home with them. I didn't realize that it could be so fulfilling to just be here and raise my kids. Sacrificing time with them as they are in such a fast-growing and exciting stage of life cannot be bought. I don't even think I could be happy if I knew that I was missing all that is to come.
So, for now, as I begin to work on my budget and prepare for possibly harder financial times (as my maternity leave is coming to an end soon), I am thankful that I will have time to watch the kids grow and play and be happy. My life will be happy. My life will be full enough, as I prepare for whatever our next step will be.
I will be exactly where I should be - where my heart is, and a big part of that is feeding my kids breakfast. :)
My husband and I have been debating on purchasing a business for the last week or so. The price is right. It is a field of work that I am comfortable and have experience doing. We would be able to handle it financially with some added income after all of the expenses. Not a bad looking option for sure. Our minds were pretty made up that, if we could arrange a few things, we were going to go ahead with it.
Another debate that we have been having on and off lately is if I can or will return to work when my maternity leave is done. The costs of childcare would require me to work full time. So do I take the plunge? Do I try to get back into the workforce and add some extra into our household from a financial prospective? Do I just try to 'pawn off' the kids to family so I can at least work a little bit? Do I just stay home with the kiddos?
Ugh. Decisions, decisions, decisions... Decisions have never been my strong point.
Then, breakfast happened. We got the boys into their highchairs and I started giving them their fruit and toast. It HIT me. Parenting these kids is so important to me. This is where I need to be. I am being completely selfish with my kids. I want to be the one to see their firsts. I want to feed them breakfast in the morning. I want to see how they are when they wake up. I want to raise them and not watch from afar as I work my butt off.
I've never felt so strongly about my role as a parent until this morning. Of course, I have ideas and opinions about parenting, and I have always said that I wanted to be home with them. I didn't realize that it could be so fulfilling to just be here and raise my kids. Sacrificing time with them as they are in such a fast-growing and exciting stage of life cannot be bought. I don't even think I could be happy if I knew that I was missing all that is to come.
So, for now, as I begin to work on my budget and prepare for possibly harder financial times (as my maternity leave is coming to an end soon), I am thankful that I will have time to watch the kids grow and play and be happy. My life will be happy. My life will be full enough, as I prepare for whatever our next step will be.
I will be exactly where I should be - where my heart is, and a big part of that is feeding my kids breakfast. :)
Dealing With An Apple
So, today, out of the blue, my daughter threw an apple at our relatively new TV. She threw it harder than I even knew she could throw. Apple pieces flew all over the place. Why?? I still have no idea. Was she dealt with or did we just laugh it off? She absolutely found out that throwing apples ANYWHERE is unacceptable. It was not a matter of us being worried about the TV. It is a matter of her learning not to throw things in the house and listening to the rules. It is a matter of her not becoming that D-bag or grinch that we all run into every once in a while.
Today, while my sister and I took 'the train' for a walk (aka myself, herself, the double stroller, single stroller and, in this case, the dog), a guy was waiting for cars to pass to turn into his driveway. He started turning in before we had even cleared his driveway and revved his engine... Ok. Kind of rude.... As soon as I am out of the way.. not even off his driveway yet totally, he pulls in so fast that he spits stones! Ok... Quite a D-bag move.. Like seriously?? The whole ten seconds that it took for us to walk across your driveway made you THAT impatient?? Really? How sad! I do not know what has made your day so terrible that you need to act so aggressively and irresponsibly. I could only shake my head as I kept walking. I am not about to argue with stupid behaviour of adults that I do not know.
Even better, earlier today, while my husband and I took out 'the train,' we ran into one of my favourite people that I see in town <please sense my sarcasm>. This woman has some background of harassing people in town, so perhaps I should delve into that quickly...
SIDE STORY: So, we took our dog for a walk when our daughter was very young, and we had the unfortunate pleasure of meeting a fellow dog owner in town. We were walking down a trail minding our own business and HER dog started barking at ours. Our dog barked a greeting and kept sniffing his side of the path as we walked. She went out of her way to tell us that she was deaf and her dog is a service dog and that we needed to get our dog under control. Say what?? Really lady?? I am quite sure that YOUR DOG BARKED FIRST! Now, I may not be the most educated person in the world, but I am not a dummy. We apologized and continued on our walk, which we were now walking BEHIND her... and talking about how stupid she was being... She turns around and starts yelling at us about how she was going to call in about our dog being out of control and to stop talking about her. HAHAHAHA. I have never known a deaf person who could hear a conversation that is taking place about 20 feet BEHIND them. Anyways, her dog was obviously not a service dog, or it was one of the worst trained service dogs ever. (It was pooping and peeing all over the park and she could hardly control the thing.) So, we continue to walk even further behind her, and she, yet again, tells us that we need to keep our dog away, because he is being aggressive. Um, lady, just because your dog will not listen to you because another dog is in the park, this is not our issue! SERIOUSLY! Ok.. enough back story. I think you get it... she told us we would be fined thousands of dollars for interfering with her dog... well, that didn't happen....
So, we saw this woman walking ahead of us today. We did not have our dog with us, but we definitely remembered who she was. We were chattering away between ourselves and with our daughter and sons, when we finally caught up with her. She looks at us and tells us to be quiet. Really lady? Aren't you supposed to be deaf? I'm sorry, but, if I want to talk to my kids, I am going to talk to my kids. This lady has quite the sense of entitlement and really things that everyone who she encounters needs to bow down to what she says. She uses her dog as ammo to keep people around her 'scared' that she will try to get them into trouble with the town. (I have many stories I can add about this woman, but I will end it here.. although what she expects of people is rather humorous.) I have to hold my tongue whenever I see her... (and I know that I am not the only one)... Seriously, though... my daughter is two and she loves being the boss during play time. It come off pretty rude to try to make other people obey you, especially for no good reason.
I know that everyone has bad days. Even I have been known to have a bad day on occasion. That said, why take it out on perfect strangers? Work a day in customer service (especially at a fast food restaurant) and you will find out just how many people are actually like this... and it's A LOT! I do not want my kids to be like that! I want them to be the ones giving smiles and joy to people, instead of being rude and ignorant. I just don't understand why people are so careless of how they treat others. I really hope to instill my kids with value for others, as much as themselves. Their world does not need to rotate only around themselves. That makes for a lonely life.
Future social behaviours might not come down to something as simple as a two year old throwing an apple at a TV once, but being rude and disrespectful starts somewhere... and if I don't deal with the apple, it will turn into an apple tree eventually, and those are much harder to handle.
Today, while my sister and I took 'the train' for a walk (aka myself, herself, the double stroller, single stroller and, in this case, the dog), a guy was waiting for cars to pass to turn into his driveway. He started turning in before we had even cleared his driveway and revved his engine... Ok. Kind of rude.... As soon as I am out of the way.. not even off his driveway yet totally, he pulls in so fast that he spits stones! Ok... Quite a D-bag move.. Like seriously?? The whole ten seconds that it took for us to walk across your driveway made you THAT impatient?? Really? How sad! I do not know what has made your day so terrible that you need to act so aggressively and irresponsibly. I could only shake my head as I kept walking. I am not about to argue with stupid behaviour of adults that I do not know.
Even better, earlier today, while my husband and I took out 'the train,' we ran into one of my favourite people that I see in town <please sense my sarcasm>. This woman has some background of harassing people in town, so perhaps I should delve into that quickly...
SIDE STORY: So, we took our dog for a walk when our daughter was very young, and we had the unfortunate pleasure of meeting a fellow dog owner in town. We were walking down a trail minding our own business and HER dog started barking at ours. Our dog barked a greeting and kept sniffing his side of the path as we walked. She went out of her way to tell us that she was deaf and her dog is a service dog and that we needed to get our dog under control. Say what?? Really lady?? I am quite sure that YOUR DOG BARKED FIRST! Now, I may not be the most educated person in the world, but I am not a dummy. We apologized and continued on our walk, which we were now walking BEHIND her... and talking about how stupid she was being... She turns around and starts yelling at us about how she was going to call in about our dog being out of control and to stop talking about her. HAHAHAHA. I have never known a deaf person who could hear a conversation that is taking place about 20 feet BEHIND them. Anyways, her dog was obviously not a service dog, or it was one of the worst trained service dogs ever. (It was pooping and peeing all over the park and she could hardly control the thing.) So, we continue to walk even further behind her, and she, yet again, tells us that we need to keep our dog away, because he is being aggressive. Um, lady, just because your dog will not listen to you because another dog is in the park, this is not our issue! SERIOUSLY! Ok.. enough back story. I think you get it... she told us we would be fined thousands of dollars for interfering with her dog... well, that didn't happen....
So, we saw this woman walking ahead of us today. We did not have our dog with us, but we definitely remembered who she was. We were chattering away between ourselves and with our daughter and sons, when we finally caught up with her. She looks at us and tells us to be quiet. Really lady? Aren't you supposed to be deaf? I'm sorry, but, if I want to talk to my kids, I am going to talk to my kids. This lady has quite the sense of entitlement and really things that everyone who she encounters needs to bow down to what she says. She uses her dog as ammo to keep people around her 'scared' that she will try to get them into trouble with the town. (I have many stories I can add about this woman, but I will end it here.. although what she expects of people is rather humorous.) I have to hold my tongue whenever I see her... (and I know that I am not the only one)... Seriously, though... my daughter is two and she loves being the boss during play time. It come off pretty rude to try to make other people obey you, especially for no good reason.
I know that everyone has bad days. Even I have been known to have a bad day on occasion. That said, why take it out on perfect strangers? Work a day in customer service (especially at a fast food restaurant) and you will find out just how many people are actually like this... and it's A LOT! I do not want my kids to be like that! I want them to be the ones giving smiles and joy to people, instead of being rude and ignorant. I just don't understand why people are so careless of how they treat others. I really hope to instill my kids with value for others, as much as themselves. Their world does not need to rotate only around themselves. That makes for a lonely life.
Future social behaviours might not come down to something as simple as a two year old throwing an apple at a TV once, but being rude and disrespectful starts somewhere... and if I don't deal with the apple, it will turn into an apple tree eventually, and those are much harder to handle.
Friday, 26 July 2013
Unwelcome Judgments
There are two things that have been driving me nuts lately. I was going to write about them a few weeks ago, but the last week or so has provided me with great examples of things that I just have to share them with all of you. (In hindsight after reading this post, it is kind of a hot mess, but it was a joy to write - so ENJOY! I will edit it later, if needed... Candy Crush is calling me. :D)
I do my best not to pass judgments on other people's parenting choices. CHOICES. That means that they are CHOOSING to raise their children like this. As long as the children are happy, healthy, and safe, then why on earth would I have a right to say anything?!? I will 'tolerate' judgments and opinions from other parents. Even suggestions on things that I may want to change for the future can be welcomes with teeth not totally gritting. However, there are times when I want to jump out of my skin and scream at other people's stupidity and ignorance.
The first type of person that I am not fond of hearing parenting advice from is a non-parent. AHHHH... the wonderfully blissful life of singlehood.. having no one to care for except yourself... and having all of the opinions in the world about how everyone else should be raising their kids. Oh, parenting opinions from people who have never had kids... Goody! Please! Tell me how to do it and what you think of it!!
Well, the age old topic of breastfeeding came up on a friend of mine's wall. Breastfeeding... oh, so simple, yet such a hot topic! My friend posted a pro-breastfeeding article stating the nutrients for babies that nurse from the ages of 12 months through to age 2. One of her childless friends pipes up... I think I may have grabbed the popcorn at this point... ok, not really, but childless people can be really entertaining when giving their views on things. These are not direct quotes, but they are close, if not exactly, what was said...
STRIKE ONE: Breastfeeding babies past age one is gross.
STRIKE TWO: Breastfeeding babies past age one will make the child fat and it is unhealthy. STRIKE THREE: Mothers need to cover up or go into a different room while breastfeeding, because it is supposed to be private.
<Face palm!> Ok, so how does a mother who is breastfeeding her child (or children) in my case not rebut those statements?!? I (along with a few other amazing women) were quick to point out the errors in her thinking.
REBUTTAL ONE: It is natural, not gross.
REBUTTAL TWO: Seriously!?!
REBUTTAL THREE: You put a blanket over your head to eat and see how you like it!!! I don't know if it is the heat around here lately or if it is just people getting more ignorant, but I just can't take people expressing their opinions when they have no idea what they are talking about. As a mom of three, who happily will nurse my babies when needed and wherever needed until whatever age they decide that they are done, it is kind of like me telling you to shave your pubes. Haha... Ok, maybe not, but, seriously, both decisions (feeding babies and shaving pubes) are highly personal and to speak publicly (or write) your asinine opinions about what the other does can be offensive and really make people look stupid. Fact of the matter is that unless you have had a child gnaw on your nipple, you should not have a say in breastfeeding (haha, I am having way too much fun writing this post).
Well, you might be scared now, but I am heading onto my second 'fun' scenario. As mentioned before, it has been hot out lately. A particular story in the news last week told of a mom who had the police and Children's Aid called on her for leaving her 9 year old and sleeping one year old in a locked and air conditioned vehicle so that she could run into the store and grab something quickly. This brings me to my next person that I LOVE to give me advice. THE PARENT OF AN ONLY CHILD. I am not saying that they aren't a parent. I am saying that they have not had to juggle 2 or more kids.
So, anyways, this story was posted on a local news website on Facebook. A friend of mine and I just thought that this particular scenario was being dealt with very harshly. A conversation with a stranger ensued in which we found out at the very end that she was a parent only to one child -- and then it all made sense. There is no chasing after one child this way and the other child that way. There is no crying baby and the older child is begging for you to buy this cool cereal that is on sale. There is no experience with deciding if your older child is responsible enough to watch your younger child for a few minutes in a safe environment. After being thrown every possible scenario by this woman (What if the car was on fire? What if the house was on fire? What if? What if? What if?), I just had to shake my head. People were agreeing with my friend and I that this particular case was not the typical 'leave your children in a hot car' scenario and that it was being dealt with to the extreme.
I am by no means condoning people to just up and leave their kids in an air conditioned car. I am also by no means encouraging people to leave their nine year olds in charge of their one year olds. However, as a mom of three kids under three, it is crazy people like this who will call the police and CAS on me if I leave my kids in the vehicle to go pay for my gas with cash!! Like, seriously, lady! You have no idea! It isn't as easy to cart a couple of kids through a store as you think! No, I am not going to leave my kids in a car to go get groceries (like she had said that I would obviously be ok with doing). Sometimes, people do not understand that two carseats to carry and a two year old do not function very easily while out and about!
With regards to this situation, it makes me sad that so many options are taken away from good parents because of overreactions from stupid people. Considering how much care this mother had taken into making sure her kids would be safe while she ran into the store, I don't think she fits the model of an abusive or neglectful parent. I don't even know the lady, but, judging by the fact that I haven't noticed an article since, I am assuming that she has not been charged, which is the right call in my opinion. I guess it would just be nice to assume that good parents should be allowed to make some decisions still regarding their children. Yes, the world is a dangerous place, and all parents are well aware of that. Being protective of our children is a big part of proving that we do care and that we are doing our best.
Well, that took a bit of a wild ride away from the point... ok, so back to the point, which was that parents of only one child need to try to keep their opinions to themselves about matters that they cannot make sense of because of their only having one child to raise... well, that was a mouthful. Seriously though, if you have never gone home empty handed when needing groceries because you just can't get all three kids in the grocery store for five minutes to grab milk and bread, then SHUT UP. For me to take two sleeping babies and an active toddler into a store for milk and bread, it might take me ten minutes just to get to the front door. By that time, I could have already been back out, milk and bread in hand, and on my way home. *I WOULD NOT DO THIS WITH MY CHILDREN AT THIS AGE BY THE WAY* I totally see where that mom was coming from and I wasn't the only one. The other lady, however, thought that we were all lunatics. (Needless to say, I found her frustrations with us and all the others kind of funny.)
**For some reason, I feel the need to put a little disclaimer here, just in case people misread things. I do not and will not leave my kids in a car unattended. I often come home empty handed after driving by the stores, mouth watering a lot of the times. I would rather piece a meal together with what remains in my house than risk my babies being left in the vehicle at this age. I am not meaning to say that parents of one child are not sympathetic to those with more kids, but I am saying that they do not always understand the business of parents that have more than one child. Also, with regards to the first scenario, I am in no way excluding formula as an acceptable way to feed a baby. I, personally, am a breastfeeding till self-wean momma and proud of it. :) Any questions?? Ask away!! Hope you enjoyed this crazy post!
I do my best not to pass judgments on other people's parenting choices. CHOICES. That means that they are CHOOSING to raise their children like this. As long as the children are happy, healthy, and safe, then why on earth would I have a right to say anything?!? I will 'tolerate' judgments and opinions from other parents. Even suggestions on things that I may want to change for the future can be welcomes with teeth not totally gritting. However, there are times when I want to jump out of my skin and scream at other people's stupidity and ignorance.
The first type of person that I am not fond of hearing parenting advice from is a non-parent. AHHHH... the wonderfully blissful life of singlehood.. having no one to care for except yourself... and having all of the opinions in the world about how everyone else should be raising their kids. Oh, parenting opinions from people who have never had kids... Goody! Please! Tell me how to do it and what you think of it!!
Well, the age old topic of breastfeeding came up on a friend of mine's wall. Breastfeeding... oh, so simple, yet such a hot topic! My friend posted a pro-breastfeeding article stating the nutrients for babies that nurse from the ages of 12 months through to age 2. One of her childless friends pipes up... I think I may have grabbed the popcorn at this point... ok, not really, but childless people can be really entertaining when giving their views on things. These are not direct quotes, but they are close, if not exactly, what was said...
STRIKE ONE: Breastfeeding babies past age one is gross.
STRIKE TWO: Breastfeeding babies past age one will make the child fat and it is unhealthy. STRIKE THREE: Mothers need to cover up or go into a different room while breastfeeding, because it is supposed to be private.
<Face palm!> Ok, so how does a mother who is breastfeeding her child (or children) in my case not rebut those statements?!? I (along with a few other amazing women) were quick to point out the errors in her thinking.
REBUTTAL ONE: It is natural, not gross.
REBUTTAL TWO: Seriously!?!
REBUTTAL THREE: You put a blanket over your head to eat and see how you like it!!! I don't know if it is the heat around here lately or if it is just people getting more ignorant, but I just can't take people expressing their opinions when they have no idea what they are talking about. As a mom of three, who happily will nurse my babies when needed and wherever needed until whatever age they decide that they are done, it is kind of like me telling you to shave your pubes. Haha... Ok, maybe not, but, seriously, both decisions (feeding babies and shaving pubes) are highly personal and to speak publicly (or write) your asinine opinions about what the other does can be offensive and really make people look stupid. Fact of the matter is that unless you have had a child gnaw on your nipple, you should not have a say in breastfeeding (haha, I am having way too much fun writing this post).
Well, you might be scared now, but I am heading onto my second 'fun' scenario. As mentioned before, it has been hot out lately. A particular story in the news last week told of a mom who had the police and Children's Aid called on her for leaving her 9 year old and sleeping one year old in a locked and air conditioned vehicle so that she could run into the store and grab something quickly. This brings me to my next person that I LOVE to give me advice. THE PARENT OF AN ONLY CHILD. I am not saying that they aren't a parent. I am saying that they have not had to juggle 2 or more kids.
So, anyways, this story was posted on a local news website on Facebook. A friend of mine and I just thought that this particular scenario was being dealt with very harshly. A conversation with a stranger ensued in which we found out at the very end that she was a parent only to one child -- and then it all made sense. There is no chasing after one child this way and the other child that way. There is no crying baby and the older child is begging for you to buy this cool cereal that is on sale. There is no experience with deciding if your older child is responsible enough to watch your younger child for a few minutes in a safe environment. After being thrown every possible scenario by this woman (What if the car was on fire? What if the house was on fire? What if? What if? What if?), I just had to shake my head. People were agreeing with my friend and I that this particular case was not the typical 'leave your children in a hot car' scenario and that it was being dealt with to the extreme.
I am by no means condoning people to just up and leave their kids in an air conditioned car. I am also by no means encouraging people to leave their nine year olds in charge of their one year olds. However, as a mom of three kids under three, it is crazy people like this who will call the police and CAS on me if I leave my kids in the vehicle to go pay for my gas with cash!! Like, seriously, lady! You have no idea! It isn't as easy to cart a couple of kids through a store as you think! No, I am not going to leave my kids in a car to go get groceries (like she had said that I would obviously be ok with doing). Sometimes, people do not understand that two carseats to carry and a two year old do not function very easily while out and about!
With regards to this situation, it makes me sad that so many options are taken away from good parents because of overreactions from stupid people. Considering how much care this mother had taken into making sure her kids would be safe while she ran into the store, I don't think she fits the model of an abusive or neglectful parent. I don't even know the lady, but, judging by the fact that I haven't noticed an article since, I am assuming that she has not been charged, which is the right call in my opinion. I guess it would just be nice to assume that good parents should be allowed to make some decisions still regarding their children. Yes, the world is a dangerous place, and all parents are well aware of that. Being protective of our children is a big part of proving that we do care and that we are doing our best.
Well, that took a bit of a wild ride away from the point... ok, so back to the point, which was that parents of only one child need to try to keep their opinions to themselves about matters that they cannot make sense of because of their only having one child to raise... well, that was a mouthful. Seriously though, if you have never gone home empty handed when needing groceries because you just can't get all three kids in the grocery store for five minutes to grab milk and bread, then SHUT UP. For me to take two sleeping babies and an active toddler into a store for milk and bread, it might take me ten minutes just to get to the front door. By that time, I could have already been back out, milk and bread in hand, and on my way home. *I WOULD NOT DO THIS WITH MY CHILDREN AT THIS AGE BY THE WAY* I totally see where that mom was coming from and I wasn't the only one. The other lady, however, thought that we were all lunatics. (Needless to say, I found her frustrations with us and all the others kind of funny.)
**For some reason, I feel the need to put a little disclaimer here, just in case people misread things. I do not and will not leave my kids in a car unattended. I often come home empty handed after driving by the stores, mouth watering a lot of the times. I would rather piece a meal together with what remains in my house than risk my babies being left in the vehicle at this age. I am not meaning to say that parents of one child are not sympathetic to those with more kids, but I am saying that they do not always understand the business of parents that have more than one child. Also, with regards to the first scenario, I am in no way excluding formula as an acceptable way to feed a baby. I, personally, am a breastfeeding till self-wean momma and proud of it. :) Any questions?? Ask away!! Hope you enjoyed this crazy post!
Saturday, 20 July 2013
8 Month Realization
Today, on the day that my babies turned 8 months, I realized that I have little boys. I snapped this picture of them while they were rolling around and wrestling, laughing and giggling the whole time. This is a realization that kind of smacked me upside the head, to be completely honest. I was in new mommy bliss, I guess, for the last 8 months, but ..... IT is starting. They are starting to act like little boys instead of babies. Rambunctious, rough, tough, active, get-around-the-room-in-seconds little boys! It is a wonderful thing to leave them to play with each other on the floor and be able to flit around the house getting things done. However, I know that I will start to come back to pretty interesting scenarios in the near future.
For instance, the boys know how to successfully get out of their diapers. This is NOT cool. I thought I had that nipped in the bud by putting onesies (aka diaper shirts) on them. They seemed to forget this newly found talent, so, since it's hot (and any mom of twins and a two year old likely has more than her fair share of laundry already), why not let them just be in their diapers. WELL, I was right to assume that they wouldn't take their diapers off anymore. The novelty had worn off... Now, it is more fun to try to take the other one's diaper off. Oh, yes. That is what I am dealing with now.... "Do NOT take off his diaper!" Nameless baby looks at me, smiles, and then proceeds to undo the tab on his brother's diaper. Looks back at me with an even bigger grin..... I can't help but laugh with them, as they find this so amusing, so I guess onesies (or maybe shorts... let me think on this) will be required yet again.
I don't know if it is worse that they know how to get out of their diapers or that they know exactly what they are after in their diapers. This is something that definitely is new to me and exclusively a part of being a mom to little boys. I do not understand the age old fascination that males have with their penises. Why, of all things to be fascinated with at this age, is that so appealing to them?? I do not think that I will ever understand this. All I know is that they are going to have to learn pretty quickly that it has a shelf life and it can be left covered. What is worse than having CAS called because there is one naked little boy running around in the backyard is having CAS called because I have two naked little boys running around in the backyard... oh wait, if you read my previous blogs, why not throw a naked two year old girl in there as well, and have a CAS party! Ugh.....(yes, my kids have clothes, lots and lots of clothes, and they fit into them.... for some reason <AHEM - they take after their father for this> they like to have no clothes on!) I don't know why the drive to be naked is developed so young... this will likely baffle me for the rest of my life ... hmm.. maybe they can remember how they came into the world?? (Haha, ok. I think I should stop thinking about this and finish this or it will be a book!)
All in all, although having boys scared the living crap out of me, as I have four sisters and really had no idea what to expect, having these two little boys (sniff, sniff, they are so big already!!!) is amazing. We were all lying in bed when they were getting ready to sleep tonight, and they were both climbing all over me and laughing and giggling. They are both happily asleep now and I know that they are loving their life. I am so happy that I got them. Between my three kids, I have really hit the jackpot. <sigh> Really, what more could I ask for??
AFTERTHOUGHT: Ok, I don't want to ruin that last moment. Hehehehehe. Obviously, there are many things in life that I would love to have - another child, a new house, to have a robot husband <joking, or am I??>, to win the $$ lottery, etc. I have to remember to live in the moment and be thankful every minute for all the blessings that I do have in my life... Everything else will just be gravy!
Thursday, 18 July 2013
Some of the Fears of Parenting
Everyone is always so quick to speak about the 'joys of parenting.' I, myself, am one to point out everything that I love about being a parent - the hugs and kisses, giggles, snuggles, and everything in between. However, there is one thing that comes with being a parent that often goes unsaid. Being a parent can be scary. There are definitely days that I need to keep a balance and learn to just live without fear. The fear of losing a child or the fear of them losing me can be crippling, if I let my mind run with those thoughts.
These last few weeks, there have been so many toddler and baby deaths in the news and I just cringe at hearing about it. It makes me want to build a bubble house and wrap them in bubble wrap and never let them out of my sight!!! How one would cope with losing a child is beyond me! The ones in my life that I know have dealt with that are the strongest people that I know. To have someone be such a part of you, and then lose them, would just rip one apart.
Our daughter has a big interest in swimming lately. When I say swimming, I mean that she is in a pool with tons of supervision and, usually, multiple floatation devices. Just knowing that she is out of MY arms' reach (yet in someone else's) can make me worry. I can physically see and hear that she is ok, yet I am worried. The images of what 'COULD' happen can sometimes stick in my mind for way too long.
With so many recent tragedies in the media and being followed in social media, I am finding that I need to cut myself off of them to be able to keep my head sane. If I follow every story, I am consumed with sadness and then begin to fear if the same may happen to my family.
I had a conversation with my mother-in-law a few weeks back about this, and she said something that I haven't forgotten. She told me that we are very prepared family and that we need to just do our best every day. I will expand on the context of this conversation now.
We are prepared - I am a preparation guru.. ok, maybe not a guru, but I do like to be prepared, er, OVER-prepared. Our family carries life insurance policies to cover funeral costs, and our wills are done. Yes, we are only in our 20's but things like that are super important.... *I can hear some of you wondering out loud, if I am still in my 20's.. I still have 9 months to go before the big 3-0*. Our taxes are up to date, our bills are paid, and our family knows what we would want if we were ever to pass away. I guess those bases are covered, so there is no reason to worry about that. We've just got to pray for a long, healthy life from this point, I guess. :)
We need to do the our best - EVERY DAY. This is not the same as YOLO. This is about responsible living. This is about seizing opportunities, being generous with 'I love you's,' and giving extra snuggles at every chance. Doing our best to ensure our children are safe and know that they are loved. Having the peace to know that if they or we pass away, there is love bursting out of every seam in the surviving broken hearts. That is what I think about doing our best every day.
I know that this post only covers fears of our children or ourselves dying, but the spectrum of parental fear are so vast, that there is no way I could cover them all in one post. I am sure that other aspects of great fear will come up in the future, but I don't have the desire to depress myself right now.
So, in the meantime, I strive to live life fully and without fear. I do have those moments where I just can't shake the 'what if's'. For now, I will just have to know that it is all out of my control from here. I do my best, and that is the best that I can do.
These last few weeks, there have been so many toddler and baby deaths in the news and I just cringe at hearing about it. It makes me want to build a bubble house and wrap them in bubble wrap and never let them out of my sight!!! How one would cope with losing a child is beyond me! The ones in my life that I know have dealt with that are the strongest people that I know. To have someone be such a part of you, and then lose them, would just rip one apart.
Our daughter has a big interest in swimming lately. When I say swimming, I mean that she is in a pool with tons of supervision and, usually, multiple floatation devices. Just knowing that she is out of MY arms' reach (yet in someone else's) can make me worry. I can physically see and hear that she is ok, yet I am worried. The images of what 'COULD' happen can sometimes stick in my mind for way too long.
With so many recent tragedies in the media and being followed in social media, I am finding that I need to cut myself off of them to be able to keep my head sane. If I follow every story, I am consumed with sadness and then begin to fear if the same may happen to my family.
I had a conversation with my mother-in-law a few weeks back about this, and she said something that I haven't forgotten. She told me that we are very prepared family and that we need to just do our best every day. I will expand on the context of this conversation now.
We are prepared - I am a preparation guru.. ok, maybe not a guru, but I do like to be prepared, er, OVER-prepared. Our family carries life insurance policies to cover funeral costs, and our wills are done. Yes, we are only in our 20's but things like that are super important.... *I can hear some of you wondering out loud, if I am still in my 20's.. I still have 9 months to go before the big 3-0*. Our taxes are up to date, our bills are paid, and our family knows what we would want if we were ever to pass away. I guess those bases are covered, so there is no reason to worry about that. We've just got to pray for a long, healthy life from this point, I guess. :)
We need to do the our best - EVERY DAY. This is not the same as YOLO. This is about responsible living. This is about seizing opportunities, being generous with 'I love you's,' and giving extra snuggles at every chance. Doing our best to ensure our children are safe and know that they are loved. Having the peace to know that if they or we pass away, there is love bursting out of every seam in the surviving broken hearts. That is what I think about doing our best every day.
I know that this post only covers fears of our children or ourselves dying, but the spectrum of parental fear are so vast, that there is no way I could cover them all in one post. I am sure that other aspects of great fear will come up in the future, but I don't have the desire to depress myself right now.
So, in the meantime, I strive to live life fully and without fear. I do have those moments where I just can't shake the 'what if's'. For now, I will just have to know that it is all out of my control from here. I do my best, and that is the best that I can do.
Thursday, 11 July 2013
Maybe she doesn't like bathing suits.....
Today, my daughter actually listened to me! Ok, she half listened to me. After bickering with her for most of the day and her dashing out in the front yard in only her underwear, I told her sternly. "You cannot go in the yard with your underwear on! You need a shirt and shorts!" Well, guess which part of that she remembered. Yup, you guessed it - the first part. As I am finishing up the dishes, I notice that I cannot hear her playing in the living room. I call for her and no reaction, so I head to the other room, AND THAT IS WHEN I SEE THEM. A tiny pair of purple undies with little designs on them right on the floor at the door. I poke my head out and hear her just laughing away. She is right by the door splashing away in her tiny pool - naked as the day she was born. Now, had our backyard NOT been completely exposed to the road, I wouldn't have cared if she was naked or not. However, not knowing who is going by (creeps, CAS callers, etc), I need to get this child clothed! She still thought it was hilarious, as did I.
You see, in our home, bodies are nothing to be ashamed of. She is very curious about anatomy, as previously posted. She is often present as I nurse the boys, and body parts, to her, are simply body parts. Obviously, we don't live in a nudist colony, so nude living is not our way of life. That said, she is two, and she simply thinks it is silly that it would be inappropriate for her to be naked in the yard.
"Why do I have to wear a bathing suit? I was in the yard." I had to stop and think for a minute. How do I answer her without leading to more questions. 'Because it isn't appropriate'.... 'Because some perv might end up looking at you in a bad way' .... 'Because people might not like mommy letting your run around naked <gulp> in our yard'... I was suddenly hit with the fact that my daughter is not going to understand any reasoning about sexuality, because <drumroll please> SHE IS TWO. Her body is not sexual. It is simply her body. For all she cares, she could be in a snowsuit or butt naked, and be happy. She could be in her favourite dress or a pirate outfit, and be happy. She doesn't care. There is no right or wrong way for her to be dressed. She just wants to have fun. We settled on 'Because I told you so' and both laughed as we went in to pick out a bathing suit for her to wear.
Now, I am not saying that she should be able to run around naked whenever she wants. I do think there are definitely places and times for clothes. :P I also understand that there are sick people in this world who do like to look at children in sexual ways, and protecting our children is a MUST. However, it would just be refreshing not to have to worry about having my two year old sexualized. Her young, pure mind just does not understand what is so wrong and 'scary' about being naked in the back yard. Obviously, I know that as she grows, we will have conversations about proper clothing, but how do you tell a two year old that she can't because 'she might attract the wrong type of attention'?
Honestly, I think it is sad that I even have to think about this. I do not want to rob my daughter of simply being able to have a body. Children become sexual being way to young these days, and, once that innocence is gone, IT IS GONE! I would love for her to be able to run around and just enjoy our back yard with no concerns - whether she wants to be fully clothed or naked. But, it is just not safe anymore. I guess fact of the matter is, that in a perfect world, she should be able to do just that, BECAUSE SHE IS TWO.
Thankfully, for now, 'Because I told you so' works well enough. I guess I will have to come up with more responses for when that doesn't work anymore. In the meantime, I am thankful for the fact that she has quite a few bathing suits that she loves, and I'm quite sure that she isn't going to be taking up streaking as a hobby. :) (Although, apparently, if she does take streaking up as a hobby, she would be taking after her father.)
You see, in our home, bodies are nothing to be ashamed of. She is very curious about anatomy, as previously posted. She is often present as I nurse the boys, and body parts, to her, are simply body parts. Obviously, we don't live in a nudist colony, so nude living is not our way of life. That said, she is two, and she simply thinks it is silly that it would be inappropriate for her to be naked in the yard.
"Why do I have to wear a bathing suit? I was in the yard." I had to stop and think for a minute. How do I answer her without leading to more questions. 'Because it isn't appropriate'.... 'Because some perv might end up looking at you in a bad way' .... 'Because people might not like mommy letting your run around naked <gulp> in our yard'... I was suddenly hit with the fact that my daughter is not going to understand any reasoning about sexuality, because <drumroll please> SHE IS TWO. Her body is not sexual. It is simply her body. For all she cares, she could be in a snowsuit or butt naked, and be happy. She could be in her favourite dress or a pirate outfit, and be happy. She doesn't care. There is no right or wrong way for her to be dressed. She just wants to have fun. We settled on 'Because I told you so' and both laughed as we went in to pick out a bathing suit for her to wear.
Now, I am not saying that she should be able to run around naked whenever she wants. I do think there are definitely places and times for clothes. :P I also understand that there are sick people in this world who do like to look at children in sexual ways, and protecting our children is a MUST. However, it would just be refreshing not to have to worry about having my two year old sexualized. Her young, pure mind just does not understand what is so wrong and 'scary' about being naked in the back yard. Obviously, I know that as she grows, we will have conversations about proper clothing, but how do you tell a two year old that she can't because 'she might attract the wrong type of attention'?
Honestly, I think it is sad that I even have to think about this. I do not want to rob my daughter of simply being able to have a body. Children become sexual being way to young these days, and, once that innocence is gone, IT IS GONE! I would love for her to be able to run around and just enjoy our back yard with no concerns - whether she wants to be fully clothed or naked. But, it is just not safe anymore. I guess fact of the matter is, that in a perfect world, she should be able to do just that, BECAUSE SHE IS TWO.
Thankfully, for now, 'Because I told you so' works well enough. I guess I will have to come up with more responses for when that doesn't work anymore. In the meantime, I am thankful for the fact that she has quite a few bathing suits that she loves, and I'm quite sure that she isn't going to be taking up streaking as a hobby. :) (Although, apparently, if she does take streaking up as a hobby, she would be taking after her father.)
Priceless Point of View
Lately, it is becoming more and more evident to me that children really have something amazing in how they see the world. My daughter is slowly showing me that seeing the world through a child's eyes isn't a bad thing every once in a while.
My youngest sister is amazing. She is in the fight of her life right now against breast cancer. My two year old just LOVES her. It comes up every once in a while, especially if she is playing with her doctor kit. She will inform me that she is going to fix her aunty's hurts. She told me that she can use her toys to 'put her hair back'. She has full faith that her beloved aunty will be better soon, and she believes that she can do something to help that happen. To her, saying it is just as good as it happening.
What I wouldn't give for that to be how life worked! Just having this positive reinforcement that 'Everything will be ok' and that 'It is fixable' (or treatable, in this case) reminds me that even when things spiral out of control, we just have to believe that everything can be alright. She really thinks that a bandage will cure it all.... and honestly, ALL THE POWER TO HER! Why wouldn't you always want to believe that the best would happen???
When does the 'change' happen? When do we, as adults, become these people who give up having faith that toys can heal wounds? Obviously, that is not a fully mature reaction to an illness. However, sometimes, it is the small joys in life that can heal wounds, especially emotional wounds. Maybe kids are onto something. Physical wounds can often carry emotional wounds, as well. Unless you are a person who hates kids (which would be sad), then a child can do a lot to help out your state of mind. Having a fresh prospective on life is never a bad thing. Hugging a child that truly believes that their hug WILL MAKE IT BETTER, somehow, makes it better. I believe it can even be miraculous sometimes.
My youngest sister is amazing. She is in the fight of her life right now against breast cancer. My two year old just LOVES her. It comes up every once in a while, especially if she is playing with her doctor kit. She will inform me that she is going to fix her aunty's hurts. She told me that she can use her toys to 'put her hair back'. She has full faith that her beloved aunty will be better soon, and she believes that she can do something to help that happen. To her, saying it is just as good as it happening.
What I wouldn't give for that to be how life worked! Just having this positive reinforcement that 'Everything will be ok' and that 'It is fixable' (or treatable, in this case) reminds me that even when things spiral out of control, we just have to believe that everything can be alright. She really thinks that a bandage will cure it all.... and honestly, ALL THE POWER TO HER! Why wouldn't you always want to believe that the best would happen???
When does the 'change' happen? When do we, as adults, become these people who give up having faith that toys can heal wounds? Obviously, that is not a fully mature reaction to an illness. However, sometimes, it is the small joys in life that can heal wounds, especially emotional wounds. Maybe kids are onto something. Physical wounds can often carry emotional wounds, as well. Unless you are a person who hates kids (which would be sad), then a child can do a lot to help out your state of mind. Having a fresh prospective on life is never a bad thing. Hugging a child that truly believes that their hug WILL MAKE IT BETTER, somehow, makes it better. I believe it can even be miraculous sometimes.
Sunday, 7 July 2013
Don't throw stones!
Today, I had my first taste of how it is going to be to have my child grow up in a world with children who are parented differently than her. For the most part, I believe that people should raise their children however they would like... That said, there are some errors in parenting that can really send the wrong message to kids. So, the story begins....
After dinner today, since it had cooled down a bit, my mother-in-law (MIL) and I decided to take the kids to the park. We have a small park that is not often being used where we like to go. It is only a few minutes by walk from our house. We get the boys in the stroller and 'saddle up' the dog and off we go. Norah is allowed to walk the dog in the last leg of this journey, as the roads are very quiet. We didn't know that our visit to the park would not even be for 5 minutes.
When we arrive, there are people there. No big deal. Norah has dropped the dog's leash to go play, so, as we enter the park, I grab his leash quickly, as dogs are supposed to be on leashes. (No biggie. He is super friendly either way, so I am not worried, but will definitely abide by the rules, especially while others are there.) I am waiting just outside of the play area with the boys, as I am now holding the leash and we are outnumbered. 3 kids and 1 dog vs. 2 adults. No problem. We just want Norah to have a good time. Norah, the 'people person' that she is, decides that she wants to play with the other children - 3 kids (I'll be generous and say they were aged 4-6), who are being supervised by 4 men and a lady (who is holding a child) WHO HAVE BEER WITH THEM... I guess that might have been my first warning that perhaps I should not want my kid to play with them, because, seriously, who brings beer to a park that is geared mostly towards toddlers. I absolutely do not mind people drinking, as I have been known to have a drink here or there myself. HOWEVER, I have NEVER seen adults have beer at the park when they are watching kids... and I thought having my dog run around was bad...
ANYWAYS, Norah joins the kids and sits with them under the play equipment, IN FULL VIEW of all the adults. The other kids, ALL THREE OF THEM, start throwing stones and sticks at her feet, and they are bouncing up on her legs. I am not some crazed parent and my kid is pretty cool with things, so I am thinking 'ok, let's see how this plays out'. I was waiting for the other parents to say something. NOTHING. Really, this is how it's going to be. Starting to be really annoyed. Norah is just smiling at them nervously, and they keep doing it. OK, STARTING TO BE REALLY, REALLY ANNOYED. Still the parents say nothing. The boy grabs a handful of stones and throws them in her face. They are at most 2.5 feet apart.. OK. GASKET OFFICIALLY BLOWN.
I am very comfortable with speaking up in general, however, I really don't want to have to chastise someone else's kids. I calmly, but firmly, say, "Norah, we are leaving. We do not play with mean kids who throw stones." So MIL picks up Norah, who thinks that she has done something wrong, as she is apologizing. She had stones all over her! Then, the parents have the nerve to look at me, and say, "Really? Is that necessary?" "Yes, it is necessary. Your kids are throwing stones. I do not need to take my kid to get glasses if she gets an eye injury from your kids throwing stones!" "Seriously. You need to be like THAT?" THEN, the kids start getting upset that they were called mean, so the parents are telling them that they aren't mean. I AM.!. Really, people, this is how we are going to play this!?! So I am apparently the 'bad guy' for calling them, or rather their children, out for throwing stones! My child is two, and we have already had the "Do NOT throw stones" discussion. It is not that hard.
Had that been my child who was throwing stones, she would have been on her way home already. Not only were they not concerned with their children's behaviour, they were defending it! I am still in shock! I was raised with consequences to my actions and respect for other human beings. I have absolutely no problem with punishing Norah if she throws stones. I will even happily tell her that she is being mean. WHY? BECAUSE THROWING STONES IS MEAN... and, for the even bigger fact, IT IS DANGEROUS! Why would I not say something about them potentially hurting my child, or even each other?
In afterthought, I think that I absolutely reacted as any caring and concerned parent would. How can I allow them to have destructive behaviour and not say something? Obviously, the other parents were not interested in doing it. They also had a huge problem with me using the word 'mean'. Seriously, call a spade as a spade. I am not one to sugar-coat with my daughter in regards to her behaviour. If she is being mean, she is being mean. If she is being awesome, she is being awesome. If you have a problem addressing your kids behaviour at this point in life, I am very scared to see them as adults. Not being corrected when young will only lead to disaster as they age.
This whole situation really has me mourning the loss of responsible parents that I see. Key word there is that I usually only SEE it. Now that Norah is growing up, I think I will be experiencing it more and more. Why are people so scared to call it like it is? There is nothing wrong with telling your child that they are doing wrong and correcting them. I absolutely do not have perfect little angels living here, but I do my best to keep them in line and respectful of others. That is a part of parenting that is essential to them being able to adjust to reality. As adults, we have laws that govern us also. It is easier to train a child to adhere to boundaries and rules than to try to teach an adult who has never had them enforced at home.
I am not saying that these parents have no rules and are like this all the time. This is just the situation that we encountered today. I am saying that, had that been my child, there would not have been an opportunity for her to throw stones again, because I'd have swooped in and stopped that immediately. Different parents, different methods. Sometimes, it is situations like this that confirm that I am on the right track with how I do things with my kids. In this situation, I know that I was right. I needed to defend my daughter. Mama bear does exist, by the way.
No matter which way you look at it.......
THROWING STONES IS WRONG! DON'T THROW STONES!
*After leaving that park and experience behind, we went to a park across town, where Norah had a lovely time playing with some friendly kids. She was still shedding stones as I pushed her on the swing at the second park... and I gave her a talk about defending herself. I told her that she needs to tell kids who throw stones to "STOP IT!"... and that she doesn't even need to say 'Please!'. :)
After dinner today, since it had cooled down a bit, my mother-in-law (MIL) and I decided to take the kids to the park. We have a small park that is not often being used where we like to go. It is only a few minutes by walk from our house. We get the boys in the stroller and 'saddle up' the dog and off we go. Norah is allowed to walk the dog in the last leg of this journey, as the roads are very quiet. We didn't know that our visit to the park would not even be for 5 minutes.
When we arrive, there are people there. No big deal. Norah has dropped the dog's leash to go play, so, as we enter the park, I grab his leash quickly, as dogs are supposed to be on leashes. (No biggie. He is super friendly either way, so I am not worried, but will definitely abide by the rules, especially while others are there.) I am waiting just outside of the play area with the boys, as I am now holding the leash and we are outnumbered. 3 kids and 1 dog vs. 2 adults. No problem. We just want Norah to have a good time. Norah, the 'people person' that she is, decides that she wants to play with the other children - 3 kids (I'll be generous and say they were aged 4-6), who are being supervised by 4 men and a lady (who is holding a child) WHO HAVE BEER WITH THEM... I guess that might have been my first warning that perhaps I should not want my kid to play with them, because, seriously, who brings beer to a park that is geared mostly towards toddlers. I absolutely do not mind people drinking, as I have been known to have a drink here or there myself. HOWEVER, I have NEVER seen adults have beer at the park when they are watching kids... and I thought having my dog run around was bad...
ANYWAYS, Norah joins the kids and sits with them under the play equipment, IN FULL VIEW of all the adults. The other kids, ALL THREE OF THEM, start throwing stones and sticks at her feet, and they are bouncing up on her legs. I am not some crazed parent and my kid is pretty cool with things, so I am thinking 'ok, let's see how this plays out'. I was waiting for the other parents to say something. NOTHING. Really, this is how it's going to be. Starting to be really annoyed. Norah is just smiling at them nervously, and they keep doing it. OK, STARTING TO BE REALLY, REALLY ANNOYED. Still the parents say nothing. The boy grabs a handful of stones and throws them in her face. They are at most 2.5 feet apart.. OK. GASKET OFFICIALLY BLOWN.
I am very comfortable with speaking up in general, however, I really don't want to have to chastise someone else's kids. I calmly, but firmly, say, "Norah, we are leaving. We do not play with mean kids who throw stones." So MIL picks up Norah, who thinks that she has done something wrong, as she is apologizing. She had stones all over her! Then, the parents have the nerve to look at me, and say, "Really? Is that necessary?" "Yes, it is necessary. Your kids are throwing stones. I do not need to take my kid to get glasses if she gets an eye injury from your kids throwing stones!" "Seriously. You need to be like THAT?" THEN, the kids start getting upset that they were called mean, so the parents are telling them that they aren't mean. I AM.!. Really, people, this is how we are going to play this!?! So I am apparently the 'bad guy' for calling them, or rather their children, out for throwing stones! My child is two, and we have already had the "Do NOT throw stones" discussion. It is not that hard.
Had that been my child who was throwing stones, she would have been on her way home already. Not only were they not concerned with their children's behaviour, they were defending it! I am still in shock! I was raised with consequences to my actions and respect for other human beings. I have absolutely no problem with punishing Norah if she throws stones. I will even happily tell her that she is being mean. WHY? BECAUSE THROWING STONES IS MEAN... and, for the even bigger fact, IT IS DANGEROUS! Why would I not say something about them potentially hurting my child, or even each other?
In afterthought, I think that I absolutely reacted as any caring and concerned parent would. How can I allow them to have destructive behaviour and not say something? Obviously, the other parents were not interested in doing it. They also had a huge problem with me using the word 'mean'. Seriously, call a spade as a spade. I am not one to sugar-coat with my daughter in regards to her behaviour. If she is being mean, she is being mean. If she is being awesome, she is being awesome. If you have a problem addressing your kids behaviour at this point in life, I am very scared to see them as adults. Not being corrected when young will only lead to disaster as they age.
This whole situation really has me mourning the loss of responsible parents that I see. Key word there is that I usually only SEE it. Now that Norah is growing up, I think I will be experiencing it more and more. Why are people so scared to call it like it is? There is nothing wrong with telling your child that they are doing wrong and correcting them. I absolutely do not have perfect little angels living here, but I do my best to keep them in line and respectful of others. That is a part of parenting that is essential to them being able to adjust to reality. As adults, we have laws that govern us also. It is easier to train a child to adhere to boundaries and rules than to try to teach an adult who has never had them enforced at home.
I am not saying that these parents have no rules and are like this all the time. This is just the situation that we encountered today. I am saying that, had that been my child, there would not have been an opportunity for her to throw stones again, because I'd have swooped in and stopped that immediately. Different parents, different methods. Sometimes, it is situations like this that confirm that I am on the right track with how I do things with my kids. In this situation, I know that I was right. I needed to defend my daughter. Mama bear does exist, by the way.
No matter which way you look at it.......
THROWING STONES IS WRONG! DON'T THROW STONES!
*After leaving that park and experience behind, we went to a park across town, where Norah had a lovely time playing with some friendly kids. She was still shedding stones as I pushed her on the swing at the second park... and I gave her a talk about defending herself. I told her that she needs to tell kids who throw stones to "STOP IT!"... and that she doesn't even need to say 'Please!'. :)
Friday, 5 July 2013
My daughter has a clam! - anatomy lessons for a 2 year old
Let me begin by saying that I am all for the proper education of children. I do think that there is a time and a place for their proper education, as well. For instance, when they learn particular things, they need to be old enough to learn when it is appropriate to use some of the things they have learned... and so this post begins....
My daughter has a clam. This is the term that a dear friend used when describing how she had poop everywhere when a diaper change was taking place. "She has poop all up in her.... all up in her... all up in her CLAM!" Apparently, there was a lot of poop. I laughed at the the term clam, and didn't think much of it...
Fast forward to the next massive poop that I change, and I tell my daughter, "Honey, you have poop in your clam." "I have poop in my clam?" "Yep. You have poop in your clam!" Within a week, I am quite sure that EVERYONE SHE CAME IN TO CONTACT WITH knew that she had a clam and that she gets poop in it sometimes.
Not long after this revelation, she was watching me change the boys. She says to me, "They have squirter bums!" and asks if her brothers have poop on their clams. I tell her no because the boys don't have clams. They just have <gulp> 'squirter bums.'
At this point, I was wondering if I am doing my two year old an injustice by not giving her all of the proper 'down below' words. After all, she is just two, and I don't know yet if she will grasp the differences between all of the female parts and all of the male parts or even the differences between what is on a female vs a male. Am I making the right decision at this point?
Needless to say, I did not wonder for very much longer. A different friend of mine came over to visit and my daughter lovingly told her all about her clam and her brothers' squirter bums. My friend looked at her and smiled and said, "Actually, your brothers have penises."
Deer in headlights right here! My radar of soon to be repeated words was going off like crazy! It really isn't the words that I worry about, but rather the context in which they are used.
Sure enough, for the next week, my daughter told everyone that she LOVES penises. Emphasis on the LOVE... She LOVES penises. Yes, you walking down the street, my daughter loves penises. And you, in front of us in the grocery cash out lane, my daughter loves penises. I think that everyone she told turned a lovely shade of red. We did not have this issue when she told people she had a clam. People either smiled or laughed a little.
Don't get me wrong. I am all for teaching her the proper body parts. I do think that it needs to be at the right age. I really don't think that two is the right age for her. She already knows that, as a girl, she has lots of eggs in her belly that may one day turn into babies, and she understands that babies come out of bellies with the help of doctors. I have given her accurate information, but in ways that she can process and understand.
I really thought that I would have no problem teaching her proper words from the get go, and I was really surprised at how my mind changed when the time came. I think it is more of an ease into education rather than a misinformation. Clam is better than 'twat' or 'whoooha' in my books.
I guess that the whole point of this post is about how not all things can be decided before you get to that bridge in parenting. I love teaching our daughter new things. W have conversations about life and learning all the time. Yesterday, I told her that babies come out of the mom's clam when they are born, because I told her a friend of hers was going to be a big sister soon. Her response was "Ewwwww, that's gross. " Definitely not too young for the proper process, but I definitely would rather her walk up to a stranger and tell them that I had the boys come out of my clam than my vagina. Yep. That makes for a much less awkward greeting on the street. :) I would take someone laughing about the wording over giving thought to my vagina any day. :)
* The desire to NOT have poop in her clam has since been the driving factor to having her potty trained. She is now doing excellent on the potty. In fact, she has not had poop in her clam once since she started on the potty! :)
My daughter has a clam. This is the term that a dear friend used when describing how she had poop everywhere when a diaper change was taking place. "She has poop all up in her.... all up in her... all up in her CLAM!" Apparently, there was a lot of poop. I laughed at the the term clam, and didn't think much of it...
Fast forward to the next massive poop that I change, and I tell my daughter, "Honey, you have poop in your clam." "I have poop in my clam?" "Yep. You have poop in your clam!" Within a week, I am quite sure that EVERYONE SHE CAME IN TO CONTACT WITH knew that she had a clam and that she gets poop in it sometimes.
Not long after this revelation, she was watching me change the boys. She says to me, "They have squirter bums!" and asks if her brothers have poop on their clams. I tell her no because the boys don't have clams. They just have <gulp> 'squirter bums.'
At this point, I was wondering if I am doing my two year old an injustice by not giving her all of the proper 'down below' words. After all, she is just two, and I don't know yet if she will grasp the differences between all of the female parts and all of the male parts or even the differences between what is on a female vs a male. Am I making the right decision at this point?
Needless to say, I did not wonder for very much longer. A different friend of mine came over to visit and my daughter lovingly told her all about her clam and her brothers' squirter bums. My friend looked at her and smiled and said, "Actually, your brothers have penises."
Deer in headlights right here! My radar of soon to be repeated words was going off like crazy! It really isn't the words that I worry about, but rather the context in which they are used.
Sure enough, for the next week, my daughter told everyone that she LOVES penises. Emphasis on the LOVE... She LOVES penises. Yes, you walking down the street, my daughter loves penises. And you, in front of us in the grocery cash out lane, my daughter loves penises. I think that everyone she told turned a lovely shade of red. We did not have this issue when she told people she had a clam. People either smiled or laughed a little.
Don't get me wrong. I am all for teaching her the proper body parts. I do think that it needs to be at the right age. I really don't think that two is the right age for her. She already knows that, as a girl, she has lots of eggs in her belly that may one day turn into babies, and she understands that babies come out of bellies with the help of doctors. I have given her accurate information, but in ways that she can process and understand.
I really thought that I would have no problem teaching her proper words from the get go, and I was really surprised at how my mind changed when the time came. I think it is more of an ease into education rather than a misinformation. Clam is better than 'twat' or 'whoooha' in my books.
I guess that the whole point of this post is about how not all things can be decided before you get to that bridge in parenting. I love teaching our daughter new things. W have conversations about life and learning all the time. Yesterday, I told her that babies come out of the mom's clam when they are born, because I told her a friend of hers was going to be a big sister soon. Her response was "Ewwwww, that's gross. " Definitely not too young for the proper process, but I definitely would rather her walk up to a stranger and tell them that I had the boys come out of my clam than my vagina. Yep. That makes for a much less awkward greeting on the street. :) I would take someone laughing about the wording over giving thought to my vagina any day. :)
* The desire to NOT have poop in her clam has since been the driving factor to having her potty trained. She is now doing excellent on the potty. In fact, she has not had poop in her clam once since she started on the potty! :)
Monday, 1 July 2013
Disorderly Order
I am known as someone who thrives off of order. Everything has it's place, and everything needs to be organized. I like to do things myself and have them done my way. I need to be able to control the process and the outcome. Most, if not all things, that I can have in order turn out very well. This is one reason why people would tell me, when pregnant with the twins, "If anyone was having twins, you are the person who can handle it!" - which drove my crazy, by the way. Everyone thinks that I can keep my kids on schedules and plan my days down to a 'T'.
Well, I have a secret that might shock you!
Although order is a top priority in my personal life, when it comes to parenting, I am about as 'free' as they come. This surprises even me!! I am sure that I have some visitors who leave and just wonder 'where did she come from?' Parenting is the most important job that I have ever had, yet, my approach to it, at times, startles even myself. The best thing about how WE parent (I will definitely include my hubby in this, as he lives here and we parent together) is that it works for us, and it works for the kids. They are all happy, healthy, thriving, and adjust well to whatever situations they are placed. Life just never ends up as you would expect.
I was never one to believe in scheduling kids. They came with a natural schedule, and, as a stay at home mom, I definitely have the time to find out how their own unique systems work. It is wonderful and amazingly easy to work with how they were born. Parenting is so much less stressful that I could have ever imagined. YES, IT HAS ITS BAD DAYS, as any job would. I just know that this is what works for us. We have been blessed with amazingly awesome kids, who show me that life is more important than counting down the hours until the next thing on the schedule.
One of the best examples of this would be our bedtime routine. What is that?? A bedtime has never existed for our daughter (who will soon turn 3). She has also never needed a particular bed, blanket, stuffed toy, soother, story, or any other bedtime ritual. When she is tired, she goes to bed. End of issue. So simple. No stress. This is how it has always been. She would fall asleep anywhere, WHEN SHE IS TIRED. I decided early on, after watching other parents struggle with bedtimes everyday, that this is not a battle that I found worth having. Now, applying this with the twins, I thought we would run into more issues, as there are two of them. Their schedules have synced, and, most days, (NOT TEETHING DAYS!!) they are sleeping within half an hour or so of each other when they do go down to sleep. They also go to bed when they are tired. I do not have the time to sit around and try to get them to sleep. If I wait until they are tired, then BAM! They go to sleep. Easy! Easy! Easy!
Parenting has brought out a side of me that I have never really expected to see. A side that just wants to sit back do nothing! Yes, do nothing, but cherish the after-hours times with the kids - the midnight snuggles underneath lit Christmas trees, the late-night hot chocolates shared with giggles, the extra help with dinner dishes that results in water everywhere, and so much more. My life after 7pm (or whenever the kids would be in bed) would be drastically different. I wouldn't even be aware of all of the special memories that I would be missing.
My kids have taught me that not everything in life has to be planned to be wonderful. It is a lesson that I am still learning. Every day is different and exciting, and, even at the end of a rough day, I have to admit that life is wonderful, even if it is still unplanned. Sometimes, I just laugh, because lessons that people have tried to teach me for decades are being taught to me by the littlest and most special people that I know. Sometimes, it is the littlest people that make the biggest difference.
After thought - I AM NOT BASHING ANYONE'S PARENTING STYLE. Sleep training and schedules are just two things that our family does not practice. That does not mean that it doesn't work for other families. Parenting all comes down to what works for each family. Every family has a different set of circumstances and needs to do what is best for them.
Well, I have a secret that might shock you!
Although order is a top priority in my personal life, when it comes to parenting, I am about as 'free' as they come. This surprises even me!! I am sure that I have some visitors who leave and just wonder 'where did she come from?' Parenting is the most important job that I have ever had, yet, my approach to it, at times, startles even myself. The best thing about how WE parent (I will definitely include my hubby in this, as he lives here and we parent together) is that it works for us, and it works for the kids. They are all happy, healthy, thriving, and adjust well to whatever situations they are placed. Life just never ends up as you would expect.
I was never one to believe in scheduling kids. They came with a natural schedule, and, as a stay at home mom, I definitely have the time to find out how their own unique systems work. It is wonderful and amazingly easy to work with how they were born. Parenting is so much less stressful that I could have ever imagined. YES, IT HAS ITS BAD DAYS, as any job would. I just know that this is what works for us. We have been blessed with amazingly awesome kids, who show me that life is more important than counting down the hours until the next thing on the schedule.
One of the best examples of this would be our bedtime routine. What is that?? A bedtime has never existed for our daughter (who will soon turn 3). She has also never needed a particular bed, blanket, stuffed toy, soother, story, or any other bedtime ritual. When she is tired, she goes to bed. End of issue. So simple. No stress. This is how it has always been. She would fall asleep anywhere, WHEN SHE IS TIRED. I decided early on, after watching other parents struggle with bedtimes everyday, that this is not a battle that I found worth having. Now, applying this with the twins, I thought we would run into more issues, as there are two of them. Their schedules have synced, and, most days, (NOT TEETHING DAYS!!) they are sleeping within half an hour or so of each other when they do go down to sleep. They also go to bed when they are tired. I do not have the time to sit around and try to get them to sleep. If I wait until they are tired, then BAM! They go to sleep. Easy! Easy! Easy!
Parenting has brought out a side of me that I have never really expected to see. A side that just wants to sit back do nothing! Yes, do nothing, but cherish the after-hours times with the kids - the midnight snuggles underneath lit Christmas trees, the late-night hot chocolates shared with giggles, the extra help with dinner dishes that results in water everywhere, and so much more. My life after 7pm (or whenever the kids would be in bed) would be drastically different. I wouldn't even be aware of all of the special memories that I would be missing.
My kids have taught me that not everything in life has to be planned to be wonderful. It is a lesson that I am still learning. Every day is different and exciting, and, even at the end of a rough day, I have to admit that life is wonderful, even if it is still unplanned. Sometimes, I just laugh, because lessons that people have tried to teach me for decades are being taught to me by the littlest and most special people that I know. Sometimes, it is the littlest people that make the biggest difference.
After thought - I AM NOT BASHING ANYONE'S PARENTING STYLE. Sleep training and schedules are just two things that our family does not practice. That does not mean that it doesn't work for other families. Parenting all comes down to what works for each family. Every family has a different set of circumstances and needs to do what is best for them.
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